Renesmee's Ride, The Sequel
by edwardian1901
Summary: Nessie is challenging Edward again, but he keeps letting her off the hook. When he leaves town, she steals money from her college savings to buy a Porsche! Edward and Bella enlist Jasper's help with their wayward daughter. Warning: spanking
1. Chapter 1

EPOV

I arrived home from class and dropped my backpack in the entryway. Hesitating there for a moment, I disappeared into the stairwell, because I could hear Carlisle in the throes of an intense lecture around the corner. He sat on the ottoman, leaning forward with elbows on knees, while my Renesmee was seated on the sofa before him, gazing blankly back at his impassioned face. I sympathized, as I too had been on the listening end of such lectures on scores of occasions.

What concerned me was that Ness was obviously _not_ listening.

"You more than anyone else, Renesmee, must grasp the importance of doing as you are told. Because of who you are and the circumstances surrounding your existence, you must realize what I mean. I know you didn't ask for these troubles, but there isn't anything to be done except make the most of it.

"If your grandmother instructs you to put away your laundry—even if it doesn't seem very important—you must respect her as your elder and behave accordingly. We keep you safe, _and_ we keep you invisible—in the human world as well as the supernatural. But you must listen and obey...even when it comes to the everyday, menial tasks. That's what makes it possible for us to keep you safe—when we know that you will listen and do as we say."

Ah, the joys of raising a child in close proximity with other family. In addition to two parents, Nessie had two aunts, two uncles, and two grandparents sharing our household, as well—a total of eight authorities. Fortunately for her, she had one werewolf boyfriend who waited obediently at her feet to do her bidding. Of course, she had us all wrapped around her littlest finger, and we strived each day to make her happy. But when she made a mistake or sloughed off responsibilities, as any teenager is likely to do, she was under a lot of scrutiny. A lot of chiefs in the house, and only one little Indian. (No racial discrimination intended toward Jacob or the Quileute Nation.)

Carlisle posed a question, gaining my daughter's attention temporarily. "What does it mean to listen, Renesmee?"

"To hear with one's ear," she recited like an audio dictionary app.

He nodded with encouragement. "That's part of it. You hear with your ears, absorb it into your brain"—at this he used his index fingers to tap on her head—"and act on what you hear. Listening also requires action, Renesmee. To listen is to give heed. To obey." He paused to allow the message to sink in. "Now you tell me…what is listening?"

She opened her mouth to reply but then stood up suddenly. "OMG, did you see that eagle!" Then she edged by his knees and ran to the glass doors that opened onto the back deck.

Carlisle's fingers came to his brow, his thumb rubbing his right temple.

I mimicked the same pose on the stair…except that I was laughing silently. I didn't always listen to his motivational speeches either, but at least I gave him the answers he wanted. Only Nessie would not feel obligated to actively participate in a Carlisle Cullen lecture.

Once I recovered my mood, I walked into the room.

"I'll take it from here, Carlisle," I said quietly.

_"That didn't go as well as I had hoped,"_ he told me silently and shrugged. "Welcome home, Edward," he said aloud. "Tag. You're it."

"Daddy!" Renesmee turned around from the doors and greeted me brightly, leaping so I had to catch her.

"Hello, offspring." Grinning, I twirled her once then set her down.

Carlisle smiled genuinely at our affection.

I suggested Nessie and I take a walk around the grounds. We had relocated to the province of Alberta, and our secluded new home was nestled in the Canadian Rockies; it featured a big wraparound deck, a wall of windows (an Esme classic design), and a giant stone fireplace. The main level on the rear side of the house was on the second story, so we waked out the back doors and took the staircase down to the ground level and strolled around the yard. I watched Nessie's mind construct chronological scenes of her day until I recognized that she was ready to focus on her grandfather's displeasure.

"Did you catch any of Carlisle's lecture in there?" I asked, pointing my thumb at the house.

Her eyes pointed up and she bit her bottom lip. "Um... I think he was saying that if I didn't put my clean clothes away, he was going to give me up to the Volturi."

"That's what I thought, too..." I agreed with a sly smile. "Don't worry. I wouldn't let them give you away."

She laughed.

"I will insist that you do as Esme says, or else she may turn her attention to me, and the wrath of Esme is a force better left to a stronger man than I." I pinched her chin. "So go do what you must to make it better."

"Well, I would, but she did it for me," Nessie explained absently, gazing down the driveway.

See, that was the problem right there! Esme was constantly doing that. Telling us to do something, eventually doing that something herself because she gets tired of waiting for it to happen, and then complaining to Carlisle about our slacking.

How was I supposed to raise my child with ethics and accountability when I had to put up with that? Now Rosalie was better about making Nessie take responsibility, but she was also terribly strict. We needed to find some balance here. Clearly I needed to take control of this situation.

"All right," I sighed. "Go apologize to your grandmother and offer instead to accomplish a chore of her choosing."

Ness groaned, prepared to argue. "But Jacob's coming over when he gets off work."

"Without hesitation, Nessie," I snapped, adding a motivational smack on her behind.

Gasping with indignation, she remembered her spanking of last week. She took two steps toward the house and then turned around to challenge me with a scowl. She crossed her arms over her chest. "It wasn't that big a deal, and you're only ordering me to because Granddaddy got involved."

_Damn it._ My first inclination was to drag her over to the nearest log and paddle her sassy, impertinent backside. After taking a couple of deep breaths, however, that desire fortunately diminished.

What was with the backchat? It was like a live-action replay of last week's fiasco. I knew one spanking wasn't going to miraculously change things. Two…? Perhaps. If she thought she could get away with it, she would continue to let her temper talk. What she said was accurate, and she knew it, too.

How was I supposed to respond to that?

"One..." _Oh, God._ Was I really giving her a three-second count to change her mind?

"Two..."

Yes, apparently I was. So what was going to happen when I got to three? And how was this reinforcing the lesson of instant obedience? If that was what we required from her, wouldn't I stop at the count of one? Nessie also happened to be silently asking me those exact same questions.

I wanted Bella.

"Three."

In a flash she was up to the house. A breath of relief whooshed out of me and I took a moment to celebrate her cooperation. I did a little spying while I was still outside to see if any others had happened to hear our row, but there wasn't any evidence of that. However, during my reconnaissance, I found that Nessie had not run to follow my instructions as I had expected, but had simply _run away_. I rolled my eyes and took off after her.

The great room was crowded. With Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett casually chatting and commenting on the CNN broadcast, the hangout seemed to Nessie a safe place to escape me. My siblings, however, noticed my colossal frown and became curious instantly. Alice knew why I was unhappy, of course, and Jasper suspected he knew. They offered me a grim smile.

"Edward! Man, what's wrong?" Emmett asked.

I was giving Renesmee, who was peeking at me from around Jasper, the Edward Cullen brand of the you're-about-to-go-down death glare. Deliberately, the others turned to follow my eyes.

Emmett, again, didn't hesitate to open his mouth. "What did you do, Ness?" Without looking away from me, she extended her hand, like an indifferent royal offering her fingers for a kiss of greeting. He slapped his palm into hers, knowing that she wanted to show him. It took a minute for Emmett to get the whole story.

"Aw, no way, you didn't! Carlisle, get the belt!" he yelled enthusiastically.

Nessie blushed and stared back at him in horror. Alice and Jasper excused themselves quickly and quietly.

"Come on, Em. Let's leave Edward and Nessie to sort this out," Rosalie said. "I don't think they need any help from you."

"No, don't go!" Nessie exclaimed impulsively, grabbing Emmett's hand again. "My dad is going to whip me with a belt! You've got to help me!"

"What?" I was confused and mortified by her lie. "I didn't say that!"

She wouldn't look at me but continued to plead with Rosalie. "Please, Aunt Rose. He's done it before."

"What? Edward! You are not going to hit this child with a belt!" She stepped between me and Ness.

"Oh, I—no, I did not—I mean, I will not! I have never, and...I never even considered it. Renesmee, you know perfectly well that I gave you a spanking last Friday—well deserved, I might add—and my belt was otherwise occupied holding up my pants. What is wrong with you?"

Rosalie got in my face and took three-quarters of a second to smooth away any signs of aggression in her countenance. "Edward," she drawled in an altogether pleasant voice, "if you so much as threaten her with a belt—or paddle or switch or cane or tawse, hairbrush, wooden spoon, or flyswatter"—she took a deep breath—"I will grind your ear off with my high heel." Then she cocked her head and smiled sweetly at me.

Emmett pulled on her sleeve and persuaded her to leave us, which she did calmly, because she trusted me not to violate her orders regarding her cherished niece. (I typically did as Rose said, since she had a truckload of dirt on me; the one good thing about Rosalie—she never told on you. However, she did use your secrets as leverage to get what she wanted.)

As the couple climbed the stairs to their room, Em whispered, "You forgot ruler."

"Or ruler!" Rose yelled.

Big sisters were such a pain in the—

"Jacob will be here any moment," Nessie informed me, backing up.

"He can wait. We have an important discussion to get through first. Nessie, you talked back, disobeyed, ran away from me, and then lied! What do you have to say for yourself?"

"That I learned from the best," she gibed. Meaning _me_.

My mouth opened to respond, but she cut me off.

"And speaking of the best, _you_ are giving an Academy-award-winning performance over my clean laundry. What do _you_ have to say for yourself?"

Shaking myself from the shock of hearing her ridicule me—very much like Rosalie would have—I stuck out my finger to scold. "No, you, young lady, have turned a simple chore into a major struggle. And for your lack of respect and disregard, you will be punished."

I paused and she set her jaw in defiance.

"Go to your room."

"No."

"Then we will do it here. Come," I commanded. As I wanted Ness to comply without hesitation, I would not hesitate or defer discipline any more.

She stayed where she was so I crossed over and grabbed her elbow. I pulled her over to the ottoman and sat, bringing her down with me so she was seated on my right knee. Then I pushed her down further and forward, so she was suddenly kneeling between my legs and bent over my left knee, the seat of her jeans located conveniently over that thigh. I pushed on her back to keep her still, because she was wriggling.

Then I waited for her to calm. It didn't seem like it was going to happen anytime soon. If I spanked her now, it would turn into a fight. She was trying her darnedest to twist her upper body so she could hit my back with her tightly balled fists.

This reminded me of several shameful episodes from my past. I myself hated to be in Nessie's position. There were times when I had been so angry and out of control, that Carlisle had his hands full keeping me restrained over his knee. Suddenly I would be bent over, staring at the floor, cursing myself (_damn it!_) for landing us in this fix again. It was all that I needed to redirect my attitude and elicit repentance. Then he would let me up without a beating. He had great instinct for that sort of thing. I thought I could conveniently use this tactic with Nessie in this situation.

She was so furious with me, crying and pounding her fists on the ottoman since she couldn't reach to hit me. I slapped my right thigh, hard. She stopped struggling immediately, giving me her full attention. I kept her bent over. Then I cracked my palm down on my leg a dozen more times to imitate a spanking.

"Next time I tell you to do something, you do it," I said, leaning over close to her ear, my voice gruff. I grabbed her under her arms and pulled her up to sit on my lap. I was met with teary brown eyes and a rosy pout. "Jacob's out front. You may go. But don't think this discussion is over. We will talk about this with your mother later." Reluctantly, she nodded, and I let her go.

I sat there for a moment longer and congratulated myself for this clever bit of parenting. And then—_ow!_ The throb in my leg grew to a flaming bite that I couldn't ignore and I rubbed the sting resentfully, gradually realizing with the pain that I had fallen through on my personal promise to give my daughter consequences. Instead—as usual—I was the one who ended up hurting.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: I forgot to do this for chapter 1, so here comes the disclaimer:**

**I am not the author/creator of Twilight, and no copyright infringement is intended.**

**Also, I have no corporal punishment agenda. I'm simply exorcising some demons and hopefully entertaining you.**

EPOV

"You're not doing her any favors, you know," Alice told me, reentering the lounge.

Jasper tossed me a knowing look. If I had not been able to read his mind, I would have assumed he was apologizing for his know-it-all wife's nosy intrusion. (I mean, even Emmett had the sense to stay out of it.) Instead, he was smugly agreeing with her.

I shrugged, feigning confidence. "It will be fine. When Bella comes home we'll sort it out." My wife had stayed late in the university's lab to work on a class project.

Jasper tapped his chin, puzzling over the recent weeks. "Ever notice how it's you that she challenges, Edward? She's respectful and pleasant with the rest of us, but when you..." He faltered and tried to hedge when he detected my offense. "I'm just thinking out loud, you know."

"Jazz may be on to something there," Alice added. _Oh, delightful._ I had the two of them analyzing my life now. "Something about _you_ brings out her temper—"

"That's it!" Jasper said eagerly. "You two have that—the bad temper—in common. It's your likenesses that rub each other the wrong way. I see this often between parents and youngsters."

"I am perfectly calm when these episodes begin," I argued dryly. "The temper comes out later—in response to hers."

"Then it's you reacting poorly to the 'Edwardian' characteristics you encounter in Nessie."

"Ah—" I started to object, but Alice interrupted.

"But you are also trying to control her. I think that's the real problem. Remember what happened when you tried to control Bella."

"But she's a child," I argued. "She needs external guidance."

Jasper stepped in again. "Yes, Edward. But, you need to stop vacillating. You and Bella ought to determine what you will accept and what you will not. Then decide the consequences for unacceptable behavior and follow through. Keep to the plan once it's established and stop trying to make mountains out of..."

He continued but I didn't listen. (Don't you love it when people who don't have children try to tell you how to raise yours?) The thing was, I didn't like to be told what to do any more than Nessie did.

"…the child has grown up without any consequences, and if that continues, soon you will be up to your bloomers in trouble," Jasper finished.

"Thank you, Major, for the advice. I will let you know when the next public flogging is scheduled. Or perhaps we ought to try branding her. A big 'REBELLIOUS' tattoo across the forehead," I said, my voice loaded with sarcasm. I was quite aware that he wasn't advocating harsh punishment, but I couldn't help but oppose him. I mean, the arrogance of it all! "Raising children is not the same as commanding troops."

He only grinned at me, which made my mood decline further, and I considered throwing him across the breakfast bar and into the kitchen. But then we heard Emmett outside singing a cheery greeting.

"Bell-la!"

"Hey, what's up?" Bella said when she came in. I was so happy to see my wife that I lifted her up for a commanding and urgent kiss. Then I took Bella to our bedroom and explained everything...away from Alice and Jasper. She was not overly surprised.

"We need a plan," she said, her lips pursed.

I was a bit annoyed that she was suggesting to do what Jasper had recommended, but what else was she going to say?

"Yes," I agreed. "I think you ought to do the talking—most of it anyway. I make her angry."

She nodded, lip in teeth. "It's just that—it often feels like Nessie is more my sister than my daughter. You know what I mean? What if she starts talking back?"

"She won't talk back to you. Let her know that we will require respect, obedience, and truthfulness. That's all we are asking. If she fails to do those things, then there will be consequences."

"Which will be...?"

"Loss of privileges. Menial chores. Confinement. As much as I hate to do it, she'll lose time with Jacob if she continues to disobey."

"I think you're right." Bella sighed and put a hand on my arm. "Thank you again for waiting until I got home, Edward." She gave me another kiss on the left corner of my mouth.

It was satisfying to hear her complimenting me; my ego ate it up. But the truth was that I waited for Bella because I was too wary to handle Renesmee Cullen alone.

"Okay. Let's do this," Bella said with mock enthusiasm.

We found Nessie downstairs with Jacob. I stayed quiet because that was my part of the plan.

"Jake, we need to talk to Nessie."

"Uh-huh," Jacob agreed amicably, his mouth full of cereal.

"Alone, please."

"Oh—"

"Jacob can stay," Nessie said quickly. "I don't mind."

"I don't think you'll want that, Ness." I shook my head, momentarily forgetting that I was supposed to leave the talking to Bella.

"Can I at least finish my Cap'n Crunch?" he asked swallowing hastily.

"Yes, we'll go upstairs," I offered.

"No! I'm not going upstairs! And Jake's not leaving," Nessie insisted. She thought it was safer if she stayed in a common area and Jacob were with her. I narrowed my eyes.

"I'll handle it," Bella told me before I could get in an argument with Ness. Then she took Jake's cereal bowl, set it down, and pushed him out the back of the house. "There," she said after shutting the doors.

"Uh...good. Thank you. Let's sit down," I suggested.

As we did, I couldn't help thinking we were "playing" house. Neither Bella nor I knew what we were doing, and—unluckily for us—Renesmee quickly deciphered that.

Jake was still outside the glass doors, having sunk down to sit. He peered in pitifully at us with one palm on the window in petition. We all stared back awkwardly.

"That is really funny," Bella said flatly. "Do you think he's doing that on purpose? If only he would pant..."

Nessie groaned.

"I'm going to let him in," I stated. "I can't sit here comfortably with him watching us with that look on his face."

When I did, Bella grimly pointed at a spot on the floor. "Sit!" she commanded. He obeyed.

"Sure, sure," he muttered, like he were trying to placate the psychotically enraged.

I grasped a newspaper from a side table, rolled it up, and slapped it into my hand lightly, all the while looking at him with disapproval. His brow furrowed, but instead of returning my glower, he looked forlornly back at his cereal bowl.

"No talking, Jake. If you're going to be in here, you are required be silent."

"Cool your jets, Edward. I'm just listening."

Nessie casually rested her hand on his head, and I internally bristled. _I swear to God, if she is going to make silent sarcastic communications to him during this meeting, I will take her over my knee now and get it over with—_

"Renesmee," Bella interrupted my thoughts. "We know you want to be treated like an adult, so your father and I want to discuss your recent behavior—together, in a calm manner—like adults."

"Fine, but did he tell you what _he_ did?" she asked Bella, gesturing to me. _"Did you admit your part in it?"_ she asked me silently.

I nodded, although I didn't think I had done anything wrong.

Bella answered her. "Yeah, I heard about it. He may have lost his temper, but that was because you—"

"I didn't lose my temper," I insisted. "She was being difficult and then, when I tried to regain control of the situation, she tried to fight me."

"Because you were trying to hit me," Ness said with all the menace of a butcher knife.

"What?" Jacob questioned, alarmed.

We ignored him.

"Can you blame me?" I asked, looking from Renesmee to Bella.

"You tried to hit Nessie, Edward?" Jacob asked.

"Enough! All right?" Bella demanded. "Nessie, you can't behave that way. He's your father, and you must do as he says. If you have a problem with it, try talking to him."

"There's no talking to him," Ness said, shaking her head. "He's always right," she mocked.

"Of course, I'm right. When have I ever been wrong? Twice, maybe three times. Ask Carlisle."

"Edward!" Bella shouted. Then, lifting up her shield, she threatened me. _"Stop arguing with her. One more outburst, and I will send _you_ to your room."_

I leaned back with my arms crossed, determining not to make another sound as Bella fixed me with another frown.

"Ness, no more hostility, please. From now on, if you cannot hold your temper and be respectful, there will be consequences. Do you understand?"

Her eyes stayed on the ceiling. "Oh, yes, I understand that you're going to let him bust my ass when my behavior is not up to the family's standards. May I remind you all that I am the only half-human in this _coven_." She drew out the last word deliberately. "If I don't act human enough for you vampires, there's a good reason for it."

That was when Bella's temper was kindled. "Renesmee! I cannot believe you! Why not say, 'Yes, Mom. I understand. I'll do better next time.' Things would go a lot easier for you then. I'm sorry you're frustrated. But you cannot become combative when you don't like how things are going—"

"Tell _him_ that." Nessie pointed at me.

"We are not talking about him! We are talking about you!"

Nessie stood up and stomped her foot. "That's the problem. You let him get away with away with controlling everything!"

Then Bella stood up and they were toe to toe. "I do not!"

Lastly, I stood up and forced myself between the two girls. When I spoke, my voice boomed, surprising all of us. "Both of you, go to your rooms! Cool off. Penalty box. Time out. There will be no round two until you are both calm."

Bella ran off first. I think she was relieved. Nessie looked at me, daring me with her eyes. "Go," I said, quiet and forbidding. She huffed before climbing the stairs.

Jacob looked at me, suddenly self-conscious. I returned his stare without speaking.

"Do you think your mom would make me some of her special popcorn on the stove?"

"Yes, Jake. I do."

"Cool. Well, if you need any help, let me know. Otherwise I'll be in the kitchen." The last thing he wanted was to get in the middle of our conflict.

"Thanks. I don't think I'll need any help," I reassured him.

I went to Bella first, not quite knowing what to expect from her. She was in our room furiously brushing her hair.

When she turned to me, she held out the hairbrush. "Here. Go do it."

_Ohhh..._

"Bella. I can't. I don't want to." It was interesting: when I was self-possessed (i.e., not angry), I really didn't want to punish her physically. And if I didn't want to, the effort it would take seemed impossible to grasp or even conjure up. The motivation simply wasn't there.

"Do it," she said again, burning me with her eyes.

"_You_ do it."

"I can't beat anybody!"

"Well, neither can I."

She raised her eyebrows. "You did it before."

I turned away, embarrassed and uncommitted. "It's not worth it."

"Last time it bought us nearly a week of peace."

"A week," I scoffed. "I thought you didn't believe in corporal punishment."

"Well, if I had behaved that way, I would have hoped somebody had the sense to spank me!"

"Hmmm…" I stalled.

"Look. You need to take care of this now. You and Carlisle are leaving and I don't want to be stuck with a mouthy teenager by myself."

She was right. Carlisle and I were traveling to upstate New York in a couple of days to find a suitable house for the family, so when Nessie was ready for an Ivy-League college in a year or so, we would have a nearby dwelling for her to come home to. If I didn't take care of this now, her behavior would deteriorate, and I wouldn't be around to correct it.

I took the hairbrush and turned it over in my hands. "I can't use this."

"Why not?"

"Rosalie said I couldn't."

"Rosalie doesn't get to say."

Rosalie thought she did. "Come on, Bella. I don't need it anyway. And I'm not certain it won't break on contact."

A funny expression crossed her face. "It would break if you used it on me?"

"Most definitely."

She bit her lip and whispered, "That's really sexy."

"Yes," I agreed, willing away a threatening fantasy. "I promise you and I will try it later, but we need to see to Renesmee."

"Yeah. All right. Go take care of it, Edward. She does not get to talk about my husband that way."

I was feeling self-righteous all of a sudden. "You're right. And I won't let her talk to her mother like that either."

"Exactly. It's the right thing to do."

"Very well. You coming too?"

"No," she choked. I thought she might start to cry.

"Why don't you go find Rose and Alice outside," I suggested. Bella rubbed her face and nodded.

I sighed, let myself out of the room, made my way down the hall to Nessie's door, and knocked, again not knowing what to expect.

_"Daddy?"_ Nessie queried reluctantly.

When I entered, she threw herself at me. "I'm so sorry, Daddy," she blubbered. "I don't know what's wrong with me!" Then she added silently, _"Please don't hate me!"_

I held her, patting her back and shushing her. "I could never hate you..."

"But I've been so horrid!"

"You're a good girl, Nessie. I love you, and I will love you no matter what. Always."

When I set her down on her bed, she was relieved. But then she noticed that I still held the hairbrush in my hand.

_"Are you going to spank me with that?"_ Her lip trembled.

"Uh—"

She looked so pitiful and she was truly contrite, well...nervous anyway about what I was going to do to her.

"Aunt Rose said you couldn't," she reminded me miserably.

"Yes, but you know that I'm your parent"—I didn't want to say that Rosalie wasn't her parent, because Rosalie thought she was—"and I make those choices with your mother."

"Mother agrees?" Renesmee sobbed.

I felt my stone heart drop into my stomach.

"But I'm not going to," I revealed hastily.

"You're not?" she looked at me hopefully, unspilled tears being blinked away.

"No," I whispered. "I'm not going to spank you at all." As I said it, I knew my next actions would be dangerous. "Your mother wanted me to. But if you promise to be good while I'm gone on my trip and you give her a meaningful apology, I'll let it go this once."

Nessie bounced on her knees and exclaimed in hushed tones, "Yes, yes! I promise!"

Now I could just go back to Bella and tell her I decided not to do it. But then I was fairly certain that Bella would spank me and then make me go back and finish the job with Nessie. It didn't matter, though, because I had another idea.

It took me a moment to figure out who was left in the house—Carlisle, Esme, and Jake—these would be who we would need to convince. No one had paid attention to my talk with Bella or subsequent conversation with Renesmee.

"Okay. You remember what happened downstairs? Let's do that again, but this time, I need you to perform with me. Can you do that?"

She nodded. I pulled up the covers and sheets on the corner of Nessie's bed, grabbed a pair of jeans off the floor, and draped them over the mattress. Then I gave the blameless denim a superior spanking. Nessie, who sat on the other side of the bed, gasped and yelled, which was good, because the other occupants of the house grew very still.

"No, Daddy. Please! Stop! I'll be good! I'll be good!"

Silently, she was directing me. _"Keep going, Daddy. Harder!"_

Downstairs, Esme's heart was breaking, but she was doing her best to remember that this was necessary.

As Ness pretended to cry, I continued to show the mattress who was boss. Suddenly the bed frame, unable to stand up under the repeated onslaught, creaked. This was followed by a snap when the support gave way. Fortunately, Nessie covered with a dramatic wail and kept up the lament, although I had stopped beating the bed. I added my own platitudes of comfort and a stern "I hope you learned your lesson, young lady."

"I'll fix that later," I whispered, looking under the bed at the sagging frame.

She waved her hand to dismiss it.

I kept watch over the minds; even the family members outside had heard and bought our act. In fact, half of the family thought Ness had received her second spanking of the day, and everybody wholeheartedly approved.

Nessie watched me, questioning me without speaking. I nodded and smiled—_we nailed it!_

"Alice won't tell, but perhaps you ought to stay away from Jasper for a while. He'll get suspicious," I whispered.

She smiled in return and gave me a genuine hug, which I accepted, trying not to regret my decision. This was nicer than actually having to calm her down, dry her tears, and soothe her pain. That made it easier to ignore my uneasy feelings.

So much for Edward the Disciplinarian. I just hoped this wouldn't get me in trouble later.


	3. Chapter 3

I felt guilty. I _was_ guilty. _Exceedingly_ guilty. Question was, would I feel any more or less errant had I done what I was supposed to do?

And was I even supposed to have done it? Must I always do what Bella wants me to do? If she had waited half an hour, Bella would have had second thoughts, too, I was certain.

What felt noble was the opportunity to be my daughter's hero that day. Something was set to rights between us—fortune pairing us on the same team. Whether this was temporary or permanent (most likely temporary—Nessie changed so often), I couldn't say. But it felt grand...at first.

After the euphoria wore off, paranoia took over. Would this cause more problems than it solved? And the big question: would Bella find out?

After two days of racking my brains—and nerves—over these questions, I was relieved to be able to leave the scene of the crime. Carlisle and I had plane tickets to the east coast, which gave us most of a night on a red-eye to chat about things while we pretended to sleep.

Seated next to each other, I declined my head toward his, while his face was set straight ahead, an airline-issued pillow snug under his neck. Carlisle knew something was wrong. He prompted me inside his head while I murmured my awkward replies.

_"Do you want to tell me anything, Edward?"_ he asked. _"Is everything all right with you?"_

"No," I whispered. "I mean, yes, I want to talk, but no, I'm not all right." Then I told my tale to my private confessor.

When I didn't perceive any response from him I opened my eyes to watch his unmoving and unruffled face. However...he was trying to suppress a smile. His eyes popped open and he turned away from me, somewhat contrite to be caught finding my situation amusing.

_"I think it's fine, Edward,"_ he finally told me.

I closed my eyes again when he did. "You know, I don't get you," I accused. "You either think I'm perfect and wonderful, or you're on my case constantly because I'm doing everything wrong."

_"That's not true. I esteem you, but I know you make mistakes. Like all of us do. I want you to learn...and grow."_ He knew I was exaggerating to make my complaint stronger, but his thoughts were wrapped up in this binding gauze of unconditional love. Something stronger and stickier than gauze really. More like strands of chewed-up bubble gum. He really couldn't separate his perfect son from his fallible Edward. Both were his.

I felt the same about Renesmee.

_"I don't think Bella is going to be too pleased with you when she finds out—"_

" _'When_ she finds out?' " I whispered harshly.

_"You know Renesmee can't keep secrets,"_ he answered me calmly.

No, I didn't know that. I cursed under my breath.

_"You ought to come clean before that happens."_

He was probably right. I didn't want to be there when Bella found out; perhaps I would tell her my confession over the telephone once we arrived in New York.

"You don't think I should have spanked her?" I questioned.

He considered this. _"I don't know. I think each child is different. What worked for you isn't necessarily going to help her. But you cannot keep letting her off the hook. You don't want her to turn out like—"_ He abruptly cut off the thought but not before I discerned it.

_You don't want her to turn out like Rosalie,_ he meant to say. I chuckled. No, we wouldn't want that.

_"I worry for her. She was delivered into this world with so much weight on her shoulders." _He paused. _"I'll help you however I can. I don't particularly want to be her disciplinarian...but you tell me what you need from me. As her grandfather, I enjoy our unique relationship. I can be her comforter, protector, confidant, playmate, and..."_

"You can spoil her," I finished for him.

_"Precisely." _He was laughing on the inside._ "But before things cycle out of control, stop it. Remove yourself from the situation and come find me. We can talk it through and make up a strategy. Don't hesitate to ask me for help if you need it."_

"I won't. Thank you. Sometimes I think she's smarter than me," I admitted.

_"She may be smarter than all of us put together,"_ he posed.

We arrived at LaGuardia and secured our rental. Carlisle was trying to listen to all the voicemails that collected during the flight, most of which were from Emmett, while I navigated the car out of the parking garage and phoned Bella to say I loved her and missed her and couldn't wait to see her again.

No sooner than he had reviewed all twelve messages, Carlisle's phone rang.

"Emmett. How are you?" He answered politely and listened for a time. "Son, I don't understand why you are calling me about this when I'm on the other side of the country."

I could hear Em complaining, and I rolled my eyes for Carlisle's benefit.

"Well, there are five other televisions in the house, Emmett. Tell Jasper that he can use another set. Is Esme there?"

Emmett continued to fuss. Carlisle's voice turned hard.

"Emmett! You are in charge of that T.V. If you don't want Jasper watching it, then tell him so." Another pause while Emmett did just that. "No, you are not '_the_ boss' necessarily, but you can be in control of yourself and your possessions. Yes, that's right. Any time, son. Please be good to Esme. Thank you. Goodbye."

"Perpetual teenagers," I complained with a grin.

He shook his head and looked out the windshield. "You try to raise them right, but in the end, they turn out just like you."

He was trying to sound glib, but I knew that was a message for me. He was proud of who I was. I wondered about his statement in terms of my relationship with my daughter as I drove.

The sun had come up during the flight, so we traveled to Lake Champlain to look from the safety of our vehicle at the properties the realtor had sent us. From there, we would head southwest along Lake Ontario. During our time near the Vermont border, Emmett called twice more. Later in the day, Carlisle's phone rang a third time.

"What the devil?" Carlisle cried, exasperated.

He whipped out his phone, ready to give my brother an earful. Instead, he sighed with relief. "It's Alice." He switched it on and listened. Alice must have been whispering because I couldn't hear her directly but caught the gist of the message from Carlisle's head.

"Mm-hm. I will." He hung up and repeated the instructions for me. "Edward, pull over."

_Little imp trying to boss me from 2,781 miles away,_ I grumbled to myself.

I thought about arguing but decided just this once to let Carlisle off without giving him a hard time. He was already prickly from Emmett's repeated pattern of nuisance, and I didn't want to send him over the edge.

When nothing happened for several minutes, I stepped out of the car and into the shade. From where we were parked, I could spy the lake beach. It was quite blustery and there were people in wet suits practicing some sort of extreme water sport that looked to be a cross between hang gliding and wind sailing.

_New Yorkers aren't as bad as people make them out to be,_ I thought with simpatico. _They're probably just cold, and that makes them seem uncivil..._

Watching the little black-suited surfers vaulting from the waves up into the sky made me think of Bella—that she would want to do that, too. I held up my phone to video record, but then it rang, and—coincidentally—it was Bella.

"Edward." She sounded apologetic and irritated. Did she find out what I had done? Or...not done, as it were?

"What is it?" I asked kindly.

"It's your daughter." Her tone indicated mischief and not any sort of emergency. Still I was anxious.

I prepared myself to take the blame for whatever it was _my_ daughter did. "What did she do?" I asked hesitantly.

"Renesmee bought a car."

"Oh?" I looked at Carlisle, who had exited the passenger-side door to stand next to me. He had heard. "Huh. How did she manage that? She's not a legal adult."

Bella's snarled. "Thanks to Jasper, she's got a fake ID."

I wasn't going to tell her that I had asked Jasper to arrange identification and passports with various names and ages in case of an emergency. Of course, Renesmee wasn't supposed to use them.

"It's a—what is it, Rose?"

I heard Rosalie answer and Bella repeated, "A Porsche 911 Carrera S Cabriolet."

"Good God! That car costs over a hundred grand!" Nessie had a checking account that I kept a good amount of money in, but nothing close to that total. "Bella, I'm still confused. How did she make this purchase?"

"It seems she reworked our bank accounts, transferring money from her savings to her checking."

I should have guessed. Nessie knew all my passwords. I was supposed to get a text when money was withdrawn, but she must have disabled my automatic messages first.

Exasperation welling up, I started kicking up the ground with my shoe.

"Edward, can we return the car?" Bella was asking.

"I don't know..." I wanted to ask what color she picked. I couldn't help feeling sort of proud that Nessie had selected such a top-quality car.

Jasper piped in confidently from somewhere beside Bella. "I can get the dealer to take it back."

"Yes, make her take it back," I said wearily. That savings account was for her college tuition.

"She's not going to like that. Do you want to talk to her?"

"Not right now," I growled. If they put her on the phone with me, I would yell...and I wasn't sure I would be able to stop.

"Are you all right, Edward?" Carlisle asked me. I was unaware that I had been clenching and unclenching my fist.

"Yes," I breathed. "But Nessie won't be when I get home!"

Carlisle paused. "Nessie is on the opposite side of the continent. I think this needs to be handled now, and the fact is, you are not there."

He was right.

"What's Carlisle saying? What do you think we should do with her?" Bella asked.

It was probably residue from my early upbringing, but my immediate idea was that she be made to return the car, turned over a knee for a sound paddling, and then sent to bed. I said as much.

"Well, I'm not doing that," Bella replied.

"Fine. Is Jacob there?" I asked.

"Yeah, he's here."

I waited for more. She must have been really cross, because she wasn't being very cooperative.

"Is he in a form in which I can speak to him?"

Bella sighed angrily. "Here he is."

Parenting over the phone was not ideal.

"Hey, Edward. What's up?"

Never in the five years I'd known Jacob did I ever anticipate asking this favor. "Do you think you could punish Nessie?"

He was silent for a moment. "It's not that I don't believe she ought to be punished, but...I just can't. You understand, don't you, Edward?"

"Yes, I understand." I was equally relieved and discouraged.

"Sorry. I mean, really, I'm _so_ sorry. This is all my fault. I should have—"

"It's not your fault, Jake. Can you put Bella back on, please?"

"I should have known she was going to... I could have stopped her, or influenced her..." He sounded like he was going to cry.

"It's all right, Jacob. You know, once she puts her mind to something—"

"Maybe I should spend more time with her—"

"No, no, that's not necessary. Please put Bella back on."

"...she feels neglected—"

"Jacob! For the love of God and your own body, please give the phone back to Bella!"

"I'm here, Edward."

I took a deep breath. "Bella. Listen, you don't necessarily have to spank her, but you need to do something."

"Edward," she said tersely, like it was obvious the girl needed a spanking and I was the only idiot that couldn't figure that out. "Can't you just come home now? I don't want Nessie to have a mother who hits."

I lost my temper then. "But might Nessie have a mother who makes her mind? I know _your_ mother did a contemptible job of it, but could you muster up enough parental authority to handle this without making me fly all the way back home again?"

"Edward." Alice was on the phone suddenly. "You upset Bella."

_Damn it all._ I pinched the bridge of my nose. _You could have warned me, you psychic lunatic._

"Rosalie is offering to handle it for Bella," Alice told me.

"I don't want Rose to handle it," although I couldn't precisely say why. "Just—just tell her it's a man thing." I cringed as soon as it was out of my mouth.

I heard Alice report back to Rosalie. "Edward says thank you, but he doesn't want your special relationship with Nessie to be spoiled."

"Good diplomacy, sister. Now will you tell me what to do with the girl?"

"Not a chance, Edward. I can't see her future... Esme and Bella are demanding something be done, but neither is up to confronting Nessie. Rose and I wouldn't mind jerking a knot in her, but you don't want Rose to do it, and I still want to be her friend when this is finished. Emmett is not an option because—well, you can infer—"

"Yes, yes. I know. Nobody wants to punish her."

I looked at Carlisle.

_"Jasper,"_ he thought.

Jasper?

_"Jasper will be no-nonsense and firm, and yet sensitive to Nessie's feelings."_

And he won't be too charmed by my dear daughter to go easy or abandon the mission. My pride didn't want to admit it, but Jasper was my only hope.

"You want me to ask him for you?" Alice asked, intuiting my decision.

"No. Hand him the phone, please."

"Hello, Edward. Sorry about the disturbance."

"It's being a parent, isn't it? I need a favor, brother."

I explained what I needed from him. I told Jasper that I would be giving Nessie a spanking when I returned home, but for now, he needed to take the car back to the dealer and talk to Nessie. I asked him to handle it how he thought best but to keep me informed in the meantime.

He gave the phone back to my wife, but not before teasing her. "Uh, Bella? I'm going to need you to sign a waiver. Okay?"

"Jasper's going to do it?" Bella asked me, surprised.

"He's going to talk to her, yes. Bella, I'm sorry for hurting your feelings. What I said was rude and untrue. I'm angry about Nessie's misbehavior, that I'm not home with you..."

"It's okay, Edward. I'm sorry for flinging all this on you. I need to do a better job with discipline."

_Me, too._ The guilt was back, sitting heavy on my chest.

"We're learning," I said.

"Is she angry with you for spanking her the other day?"

The guilt intensified with a persistent choke-hold around my throat. "Hmmm," I pretended to consider.

"Because she waited until you left to do this. I'm sure she knew we wouldn't let her keep the car she practically stole. Is it a message for you? I wonder..."

_Oh, God._ Was she figuring out that I didn't do it?

Then Bella gasped and I steeled myself for the scolding to come.

"Oh, no. Edward! She's mad at me! This is meant for me. I know it is!"

"Why do you say that?" I smiled my relief, hoping that Bella didn't hear it in my voice.

"Well, Ness got really—what's that word Carlisle uses?—_cheeky._ She's been cheeky with me. Did she know that I asked you to spank her?"

"Um... I may have mentioned that you and I agreed on that course of action," I hedged.

"That's what it is. She probably feels betrayed. Maybe...maybe I should handle this," she suggested with feigned resolve.

"Don't. Not if you feel uncomfortable. If she is in fact feeling betrayed, it's better if you stay out of it. She'll need you to be there for support when she's ready to apologize or vent...whichever."

"I guess you're right. Should I be worried about Jasper, though? I mean, he got her the fake ID..."

"Not at all. He's not cruel, and he loves her. I'm confident that he'll be respectful and intuitive. He'll know why she did what she did and what she needs from us. Don't worry, Bella. We will make it fair enough."

**Author's note: What do you think? Are you delighted, frustrated ... bored? Talk to me.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: My dear readers! I am so sorry for not posting sooner! I will not bore you with my excuses, but please do forgive me. Include in your kind thoughts, my first-rate beta, who I thoroughly exhausted yesterday, but do not hold her responsible for any mistakes or the content of this chapter.**

**Let's recap, shall we? Edward's in New York with Carlisle, and Nessie's bought a car with her college savings. Bella's going to give us the inside story.**

**(You all probably figured this out on your own, since this is a sequel, but you will find references to Renesmee's Ride, the original, which you can find on my profile page.)**

**Thanks, and I hope you enjoy!**

BPOV

I wanted to sock Jasper Whitlock right in the glint of his toothy smirk.

_What a cocky son of a—_

_Grrr!_

"I'm only teasing you, Bella," Jasper said, after he had informed me that I would need to sign a waiver, since Edward had hastily shoved our daughter under our oldest brother's authority in his absence.

No matter what _he_ might think, Jasper was _not_ funny.

"You taking Nessie to the woodshed?" Emmett asked Jasper, unabashedly entertained by Edward's and my latest...problem.

"No," he drawled. "I'm supposed to talk to her. Talking and strapping—well, that's two different buckets of possums."

_Will these people listen to themselves! _ I complained inside my head. _We are Canadians now. We shouldn't talk like inbred cattle hands. _

"First, I'm going to take her and the new purchase back to the dealership and employ a minor scare tactic to secure a refund."

"I'll come along," Jake offered. "I can meet you there and drive you two home in the Rabbit. I could help with the intimidation factor, too. Not that you would need it."

"That's mighty kind of you."

_Oh, Renesmee is going to _love_ riding alone with Jasper to return her Porsche... And she is so going to _hate_ me!_

"Then I'm gonna use a different but no less effective scare tactic at home to get her to talk to me," Jasper continued. Then I think he sensed my anxiety. "It's not really a scare tactic, Bella. I'm being facetious. It's called persuasion."

_Well, good._ If she didn't hate me already, the Whitlock Inquisition would settle it.

Although...I was pretty sure she hated me already.

After her dad had left to catch his flight yesterday evening, she strode into our bedroom with my hairbrush. Edward must have forgotten to take it with him after "The Spanking."

"This is yours, isn't it, Mother?" She was being sweet in that really polite, fake way people do when they actually want you dead. It wasn't warm at all and could even be described as aggressive. Her smile looked like it would grate marble.

"Um, yeah. Thanks." I had hesitated, embarrassed. "Does—does it still hurt?" I asked, meaning her punishment, of course.

She paused to think about it. "No," she chirped happily.

"Good." I had nodded awkwardly.

The last time (and the first time) Edward spanked her, I had been shocked to see the results of it. The next day, she had changed into her emerald green swimsuit to go to the lake with Jacob. Again, she came into my room to model and use my full-length mirror. I had gasped when I spied the red splotches that spread out from where the swim material ended on her legs.

"What?" she had questioned.

As I was unwilling to take my eyes off her rosy backside—and also unable to speak—she ran to the mirror and looked over her shoulder at the reflection. Without missing a beat, she left to change into a blue two-piece with boy shorts.

"Better?" she had asked when she returned. "It's covered now?"

I nodded, still reeling from what I had seen. I had laid into Edward about it later.

"There are literal handprints on her rear end!"

"I'm going to kill Jacob," he growled.

"No! Not Jake's—"

"Oh, right. You didn't say _paw_ prints." He _thought_ he was being funny. That seemed to be an irritating family trait.

"_Your_ handprints, Edward. From yesterday. Still on her skin. Looks like you finger-painted it."

Of course, I knew Edward better by this time, and I knew that he wasn't always honest with me. He was hiding his real emotions about this—I could tell. Had I been guessing, I would have said he was feeling smug.

"Was it still swollen?" he had asked, pretending to be concerned.

"No, but I can't tell you how badly I reacted to those marks. It looks like abuse. I trusted you with her!"

He had been very apologetic. He insisted that she wasn't still hurting but suggested that perhaps her skin didn't heal fast like ours. It was durable, but hypersensitive to touch. He had said he would ask Carlisle about it.

Strangely, Renesmee had been very nonchalant about the whole thing. She had seemed to understand that spanking. There was no resentment, no artificial cheeriness with the goal of making us uneasy. She had acted pitiful for a while to gain our sympathy, but that was that.

But this time...this time it was different. She wasn't necessarily avoiding me—the opposite actually. It seemed like she was stretching for reasons to have contact with me...random questions, information exchanges. Nothing personable, though. Not our usual mother-daughter repartee.

Had things been normal between us, she would have sat so our legs were touching, poked me with her elbow (my little nudger still nudged me), and shown me things from her day at school and all the cool things Jake had said. Instead, she was superficial and tight-lipped. Perhaps she had wanted something from me? If so, unfortunately, I hadn't caught on...

Then she had disappeared. She wasn't answering her phone, and I couldn't get a hold of Jake either. Alice couldn't see, and nobody had heard from her. I kept telling myself that she was with Jake, and they had left their phones in his car. But I was worried. I was a mother after all.

Thank goodness she had showed up in our driveway by noontime.

And so had a brand _spanking_ new metallic Porsche convertible.

"What is this, Nessie? Where have you been?" My tone was curious but benign. I had no reason to suspect any wrongdoing...well, other than my daughter's strange behavior of late and an outrageously expensive new vehicle in our driveway.

"It's an Austrian brand of high-performance sports car."

"Don't be a smart alec. Where did it come from?"

"I bought it."

"How did you buy it?" I was aware that my voice was steadily reaching higher octaves I hadn't known existed.

"My savings, Mother. I needed more than what was in my checking account."

"Holy crow, Ness! That's for your college!"

"College is overrated, I hear. I want a convertible instead."

I took some deep breaths.

"Renesmee. Drop the attitude. How did you get the money from your savings? Does your father know about this?" I asked slowly.

She rolled her eyes. "No, he doesn't know. But _I know_ how to transfer money to and from different accounts online. It's not hard."

"You—what—I..." What did I say to that? She didn't sound even the least bit sorry. "I don't understand. You don't have a driver's license."

"Oh, but I do. See." Then she showed me the forged I.D.

"Where did you get that, young lady?"

"Uncle Jasper." Her expression was daring me to object.

"Renesmee, you are making me want to hurt you." I think that must have been a newly acquired vampire trait. I automatically wanted to confront all my problems with violence.

"Go ahead. But then Daddy will be upset with you," she challenged, "and you'll be the one in trouble."

What? Was she trying to get me to believe that Edward—and Jasper, too, maybe—would think it was perfectly normal for an underage girl to drop a hundred grand for a new car? A girl who had stolen the money from her savings? Savings that her father had designated for tuition?

"Yeah, I don't think so. In fact, he will be coming home to spank your deliberately disobedient little bottom...whether or not I do so first." I was so mad, I thought I could do it right then.

She half-smiled, expecting my bluff. "He doesn't always do what you tell him to, you know."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She didn't answer me.

And true to her prediction, Edward was not coming home to help me. Not before his scheduled return anyway.

He had called several times since we hung up. Twice to say that he decided he wanted to keep the car, and twice to say, never mind—that was a bad idea and a poor way to teach a lesson (I agreed). And once to say that he thought he had figured out what was wrong with Rosalie. He said that she had been a New Yorker before she entered her vampire life with the Cullens, and that she probably had been cold before going through the change. He theorized that the cold was why she was so rude and disagreeable all the time. We ought to try an electric blanket, he suggested. Not so coincidentally, Alice had already experimented with a warming blanket prior to his phone call and Rose had tried to smother her with it.

What. The. Heck. Everyone in our family had officially gone mad.

And speaking of Rosalie, she felt entitled to give me an unsolicited lecture about child rearing, and it made me want to smother _her_ with an electric blanket.

"Bella, it's time to firm up. You know, Nessie doesn't attempt this nonsense with me. That's because I don't put up with it. She knows I love her and would give her anything, but the second she gets sassy, I put a stop to it." I had nodded. "I mean, come on, Bella! Even Esme commands respect."

I wanted to say that nobody dared cross Esme because we didn't want to disappoint Carlisle. And, of course, we were all terrified of the woman's wicked right hand. Even Edward and Alice, who could see it coming. If you weren't watching your back before you told somebody off or broke something during a temper tantrum, you might get smacked into next week.

Nobody dared cross Rose because she held a grudge for at least eight years. Your car might fall to pieces while you took the interstate at 70 mph, or she might burn all your underwear when Alice wasn't looking. I didn't know any of this personally, but I had heard enough stories to make me wary.

"It's no wonder, though," Rosalie continued. "You let Edward act like a brat. Of course, Nessie is following your example."

Was Nessie acting like Edward? I did not recall Edward ever stealing money from his parents to buy a car. Rose had as much to do with raising Renesmee as Edward and I did, and yet she was blaming this on us.

I found myself wondering if that blanket might catch Rose's hair on fire...

And yet even Charlie, who had never raised a hand to me, had hinted that something must be done when he visited last weekend.

"I didn't want to say anything, Bells, but I think our girl needs some...redirection."

I admitted that Edward had given her a spanking after she had back talked and stolen (and subsequently crashed) Jake's motorbike. Apparently, my father's objections about motorcycles hadn't changed any over the last couple of years. Even though Ness and I were practically indestructible (which we didn't talk about with Charlie—need-to-know basis, you remember—however I'm sure he could surmise). He wholeheartedly approved of Edward's discipline. He said that was the way he had been raised.

"But, Bella," he cautioned. "One spanking isn't going to magically change everything. You gotta find out why she's acting out."

He was right. I knew he was.

But we had gone three years—Nessie's whole life—without needing to punish at all. Who would have guessed that all of a sudden she would start an insurrection? Not even Alice saw it coming.

I was worried for her. Carlisle wouldn't let her try to take over the family. He was the leader—top of the ladder. Hopefully Nessie wouldn't get that high up in the chain of command. I would do anything for her; I had proven that. But she was quickly climbing out of my reach.

So now it was up to Jasper.

"Hey, Jazz," Emmett said, "I'll bet that you're gonna have to lick Nessie before you get her to talk."

Jasper was stroking his chin. "What do you wager?"

"Tickets to the hockey game."

"Two tickets?"

"Sure thing."

"You're on, brother!"

"No!" I yelled. "No! You are not gambling over my daughter's hide!"

Jasper was my last hope. And I still wanted to kick him in the teeth.


	5. Chapter 5

JPOV

Nessie wouldn't look at me—wouldn't talk to me. I was sure she wanted to _show_ me what she thought of me, but she wouldn't go as far as to touch me. So I let her be.

I drove while she sat in the seat opposite, holding the sale documents tightly in her lap. I had to say, this Porsche was an excellent model of auto engineering, and I silently commended her ability to select the best. It seemed to me she had her daddy's proclivity for foreign rides.

Stealing a glance at the girl, I took note of her rapidly changing appearance. She looked sixteen at the oldest. Why the salespeople allowed her to buy a car in the first place, I didn't rightly know. I supposed that when a buyer was offering cash, a dealer was likely to overlook suspect patrons.

Nessie was lightly kicking at the glove compartment. The belligerence was so thick in the air, I unfortunately couldn't enjoy driving that fine vehicle. I thought it was time to break the tension.

"Nessie, honey. It's just me, your Uncle Jasper. We're friends, right?"

No answer.

"I'm not your parent, darlin'. If you want to talk about...or even holler about how unfair all this is, I'll offer you my ear."

When she didn't speak or look my way, I glanced again at the papers she was holding. Okay, I was pretty sure she was flipping me the bird. Friend or not, I was her uncle. Now that kind of disrespect sticks in my craw.

"I don't think you want to be making me an enemy, now, do you? If you prefer, I can pull over and we can address your behavior on the side of the road."

The offending finger disappeared into her fist quick as lightning. She still didn't speak.

_All right_...so I guessed she didn't want to talk right then. She was in a temper. I let it go.

I couldn't help but recall little Nessie, not so long ago. I remembered the day she really looked at me for the very first time and noticed my scarring. She brushed her tiny hand across my arm, and I could see what she was seeing.

"It's beautiful?" she asked, her sweet voice reaching a high-pitched squeak at the last syllable.

Alice nodded with enchantment and enthusiasm. "Yes! It is beautiful."

After that, I was hers. One by one, we all fell under her power.

So what had happened to that endearing little girl? Had Nessie been spoiled? Oh, Lord, yes. Of course we spoiled her. But she was a good girl. Any misbehavior in the past amounted to a lack of understanding about what was considered naughty.

There was only one time that I remembered her causing a potentially serious problem, and that was when she dialed 911 and hung up while we still lived in Forks. Fortunately, her maternal grandfather was the chief of police, and he had responded to the call. When he showed up at the house unexpected and in uniform, Esme quickly figured out that Nessie had used the phone. Edward and Bella had been out Christmas shopping.

There had been no unwanted attention, thank heavens, but it was a close call.

"She's too smart for her own good," Charlie had mused with affection. After all, he didn't know she could talk yet.

Esme promised him that they would keep the phones away from Renesmee. Later, to the girl, she had said that her coloring papers and crayons would be taken away for the night. When Nessie started to balk, she had amended, "Well, if you'd rather, Carlisle can give you a spanking."

"I'll take the spanking," Ness had replied, without batting an eye.

Apparently Esme had been bluffing, because she became upset. Carlisle was beside himself and couldn't do it. After a talking-to, he let her off the hook. We had all released a sigh of relief.

I quit my reminiscing, as we were almost at our destination. Nessie wasn't a little girl anymore, but she wasn't near grown up yet...as evidenced by her recent behavior.

"All right, Ness. When we get to the dealer, I want you to point out the guy or gal who sold you the car. Tell 'em you made a mistake and you need to return it."

"And what reason shall I give?"

"Don't reckon it matters much."

As it turned out, it didn't matter at all, because it was not possible to return the car.

"But you can't do that! She signed the contract, and the law states that once she takes possession of the property, it cannot be returned. It's a used car now. I can't sell it for what it's worth!" The man at the fancy foreign car dealership's eyes bulged when he looked at me. Jake and I made him nervous.

Of course, his argument wasn't acceptable, and I let him know that in a no-nonsense way. "This model is not scheduled for release yet." Rosalie had told me that. "I do not think you were allowed to sell it. Consider it test driven."

I bared my teeth and got in the fellow's face. Jake patted my shoulder and pretended to be worried for the man—like I was an escapee from the institution for the criminally insane, who had a history of assault. I helped the dealer out a bit, causing his anxiety to heighten until he felt like he had to take the car back. Finally he gave in, when we agreed that he hold onto the documentation fee and a two-percent credit charge.

That was fine. I thought we achieved the impossible anyway. Phase one of the mission was accomplished.

Then it was home in the Rabbit. I offered the young lady the passenger seat, but she deferred to sit in the back. She leaned forward and kept a hand on Jake's back while he drove. I watched his expressions change and his emotions adjust as he reacted to the things Nessie showed him.

When we reached home, I phoned Edward to let him know the outcome.

"Thank you, Jasper. If she gives you any trouble, do what you must. I trust you."

The cocky part of me wanted to take care of things and show Edward and Bella how it was done. I knew I could make this little lady very sorry and rue the day she thought showing off was a good idea. But the part of me that felt things as deeply as she did wanted it to end all fluffy clouds and smiley faces. For a guy without a beating heart, it sure did bleed.

"All right, Ness. Let's get. Follow me." I led her to the back porch. I wanted to make it casual and comfortable—a regular chitchat with her uncle. She wasn't prone to jabber, but maybe I could encourage her to open up to me. I was good at that.

She sighed dramatically as she sank into an Adirondack chair.

"What are you going to do with me?" she asked. She wasn't looking at me, but back through the glass doors at Jake, who was inside eating.

"That depends. What do you think I should do?"

She chewed her lip a bit. "What I did was pretty bad..."

"Yeah, your mama is fit to be tied. But I will entertain an offer for leniency."

She rolled her eyes, just like her daddy. "Why won't anybody spank me?"

Frustration. It was vibrating off of her as she gritted her teeth. I didn't understand. It seemed to me like she'd had her tail warmed frequently during the last several days. And that hadn't worked.

"I didn't say that I wouldn't. And your daddy says he's going to when he gets home."

"Yeah, right," she muttered.

Disbelief. Cynicism.

Huh.

"I'm supposed to figure you out, honey. Up until now I was pretty confident that I could do that, but I'm not so sure anymore. I need you to be real with me, Nessie. Why are you doing these things?" I paused to take a read of her feelings and send out some comfort and supportive energy. "Talk to me, and if you still want a spanking, I will oblige you."

That got her talking.

"I don't _want_ a spanking! Obviously I don't like them...but I do deserve it." She grimaced. "I don't know what's wrong with me, Uncle Jasper! My mood swings come about every five minutes. Sometimes I want to be this family's little girl still, and other times I want out of here so desperately... I want to be treated like an adult and be allowed to make my own decisions, but the thought of leaving and being without all of you frightens me. I think I'm going crazy."

"I think it's called adolescence." I grinned at her, and she actually returned the smile.

Hope. We were making progress.

"Tell me the truth. Did you buy the car as a way of asserting your independence, or was it for spite?"

Her mouth curled up on one side. "It wasn't my money. That wouldn't be a clever way to declare my autonomy, would it?"

"I suppose not."

"I was mad at my mother." She touched my hand gently, and I saw a fight she'd had with her mama and Edward in her room later explaining that Bella had wanted him to spank her.

"So it was revenge."

"Yes," she confirmed. "I couldn't let them get away with all that so easily."

"No, ma'am, you couldn't do that," I said with good-humored sarcasm. "Well, thank you for sharing with me. I appreciate your honesty." I tapped the side of my face. "Now, what shall we do?"

She swallowed. "May I go now?"

Despite the truth coming out, I didn't think we had resolved anything. "Not so fast. Your father wants me to handle this in his stead. I can't just let you off so you can go all madcap on us again."

"Look, Jasper. I'm sorry I bought the car. I'll say sorry to whoever you want me to apologize to."

She wasn't really sorry.

"Saying sorry is a good place to start. But we need to determine a punishment. I'm all for natural consequences, but we can't really telephone the police and say you stole money and used a fake ID to buy a car, can we?"

"You can't be serious. It wasn't that bad—"

"That's what you did and it's illegal."

"So...what? You're going to lock me up?"

"I don't know. What do you need me to do, Ness? You want to pay for your wrongdoing, don't you? Can you find a way to come up with the money that didn't get refunded?"

If I could get her to take responsibility for her actions and accept a punishment, I would call this mission successful.

She grimaced. "I think—I need a spanking," she finally admitted.

Well, damn. That was easy. Thank goodness Bella called off the bet with Emmett, or I would be paying for tickets to the hockey game.

"I think you do, too. I'd say a sore behind _beats_ a night in jail. Wouldn't you say?"

She nodded. She was feeling a pinch of panic. That was good.

"Okay. I want you to go up to your room and I'll meet you there. Take off your britches and underwear."

"What?" The panic increased. "When my dad spanks me, I get to keep my clothes on. At least my"—she whispered harshly—"panties!"

"Well, I do it differently," I said, nonchalant. Not that I routinely gave spankings...

"No, please. Please. I can't—" She was starting to lose it, so I contributed some calm.

"I tell you what. Go up and change into your school skirt. I'll take care of the rest. Go on."

She agreed and left me to go to her room.

The truth was, I only had a vague idea of how to proceed. I had seen spankings, of course, and I sort of remembered whippings when I was a boy. Edward didn't want me to whip her, I knew... I would ask Edward, I decided. I called him a second time with an update.

He blew out a big breath. "Fine. Thank you for telling me." He explained that when he did the walloping, he held Nessie over his lap and used his hand. I told him I would take it easy on her, seeing that he was going to give it to her again when he got home.

"You are still going to spank her, right?" I asked. " 'Cause Ness didn't seem to think you really would."

He hesitated. "Yes, I am. Don't go too easy, Jasper. She'll learn not to misbehave when I'm gone."

So we were all set.

I walked inside. Jacob was watching me.

"She's crying," he said.

I nodded. "She's going to be crying a lot more. If you can't handle that, I suggest you go."

He closed his eyes briefly. "I'll be fine."

I climbed the stairs and knocked on Nessie's door. When my knock wasn't answered I entered and closed the door behind me.

As I had suggested, she was wearing her plaid uniform kilt. She lay on the bed, face down, with her head in her arms near the pillow.

I cleared my throat so she would look at me. She was completely silent.

"Nessie," I said. I hated to disturb or rouse her from whatever plane of reality she had traveled to, but I really did need to survey her emotions. She was very blank at that moment.

Finally she acknowledged me by raising her head. She had been crying, that was plain, but in the meantime she had steeled herself for what was to come.

"I'm left-handed, honey."

"What?"

"I need you to turn in the other direction, please."

"Oh. Sure." Instead of turning, she crawled to the opposite side of the bed and lay down again. Her bleary eyes met mine before she buried her face back into her arms.

"That will do. Thank you."

I came and sat near her feet. Then I pulled on her ankles, dragging her lower body up and over my thighs until I had a good aim at what I was targeting.

I lifted the skirt over her waist, revealing light blue cotton underwear. It would be mortifying—for both of us—but I would need to pull them down. Otherwise, I wouldn't know how hard to hit or if I were hitting her _too_ hard (Edward had difficulty trying to describe it to me over the phone). This way I could see how her body reacted. I didn't want to distress her, but let's face it, spankings were embarrassing no matter what circumstances.

As soon as I stuck my fingers in the waistband, however, she fought me, holding them up. "No!"

"Yes."

"They stay up!"

"Down."

"No!"

"Yes." I was trying to remain calm. It was time to employ an anesthetic, I decided. I did and she let go, her body giving way to the lull. I pulled the panties down on her thighs.

"Not fair," she whined sluggishly.

Then I waited a minute for the numbness to wear off. I wanted her clear and sober for this spanking. It would need to take this time. I tried to respect her privacy and not look at her nakedness. I reminded myself that, despite what she looked like, this was Edward and Bella's little girl, who was in need of a spanking.

My effects wore off and then it came. Humiliation. Shame. Self-pity. She braced her toes on the bed.

I raised my arm and turned my palm into a instrument of corporal punishment. I cupped my hand, so it wouldn't work quite so much like a hard paddle, but more like a flexible material—like a human's hand. When my palm struck her left cheek, the sound surprised me. It was like a judge's gavel hitting a block. That was not at all the sound I had heard when Edward spanked her that last time. But here I was, smacking bare flesh, and it sounded like rock hitting wood.

Nessie gasped. "Bastard!"

"Watch your mouth, young lady," I reminded sternly.

Then I spanked again on the other side. Nessie screamed but there was no profanity this time. I would keep it up until I sensed the intended result—contrition. I fixed my aim on the fleshy lower portion of her backside and the shocking sound reverberated anew.

That's when it dawned on me: Edward hadn't really spanked her.

I was getting ready to ask if she'd ever had a real spanking...but then I heard someone approaching Nessie's room. Always suspicious, I lowered my hand and watched with narrowed eyes. The door swung open on its hinges.

Charging in at me and huffing like a mama bear coming to the rescue of her cub was Bella Cullen, all teeth and murderous rage and prepared to attack.

**AN: Oh, dear. What should we do now? Really. Let me know what you want to see. -E.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's note: **

**Thank you so much for reading! Feel sorry for me and leave me a nice review. Pretty please?**

**For the purpose of this story, Nessie's special communications gift only works skin-on-skin. I don't know if that's canon, but please humor me.**

**Before we criticize Renesmee, let's give her some credit. I mean, if my father were a mind-reader, I would have killed myself. So I think she's doing quite well, don't you?**

**Hope you enjoy!**

RPOV

_Pull your panties up!_ I ordered myself in hysterics. I was laid and fixed over my uncle's lap, skirt flipped up, and—besides my scrunched-up underwear somewhere near my knees—I was naked from the waist down. And I was pretty sure I had a couple of Jasper-sized handprints showing up red on my pale butt. Philosophically, I didn't know what that meant, but my pride told me to move my heinie out of the way and get it covered!

Honestly, I hadn't expected to lose _all_ my dignity when I consented to this frigging assault to my behind. I mean, my dad always told me that if any boy tried to get under my skirt, I should slap him. I suspected it would only get me in more trouble if I tried slapping Uncle Jasper, though.

This family was way too slaphappy anyway, and I probably ought not to descend to their level of savagery. Just because I was being raised by vampires didn't mean I had to act like one. Unfortunately that didn't mean I wasn't subject to their antiquated notions of child rearing. And I stress the word _rear_. These people were completely devoted to their theories of corporal punishment. I knew that my own dad still required a firm fatherly hand to steer him in the right direction. Aunt Rosalie, too. She and Carlisle were currently working on her attitude, which meant she frequented my granddad's study..._a lot_. Those episodes scared me right out of my cozy Ugg boots (which Alice hated anyway). I had even SEEN Emmett getting whacked!

I knew all about this particular Cullen dynamic. And so here I was experiencing it.

Not to worry, though. My mother, God bless her, was coming to my rescue. When Jasper paused and let up on me, I scrambled off to the side of his legs, reaching behind me to pull up my panties.

Jeez! My mom looked really scary! Remind me not to get on her bad side. I recalled this look from her oft-aggressive encounters with Emmett when I was younger. For a moment, I felt fear for her. Was she going to try to fight Jasper? 'Cause I knew who would win, and it would be the guy with all the teeth tattoos.

He actually positioned himself in front of me, as if she were a danger to me. _Yeah right, buddy! It's _you_ I'm afraid of._

On the heels of my mother's entrance was Aunt Rosalie. She grabbed my mom around the waist and tried to pull her back.

"Let him finish!" she yelled.

"No! Jasper! You son of—"

"Now, now, Bella," Uncle Jasper scolded mildly, ignoring her vicious slashing motions aimed at his head. "Do you want Nessie to hear that sort of language?"

_Seriously?_ Did I look like a toddler? I would have rolled my eyes had I not been so worried.

My mom turned the attack on Rosalie and in no time she had her hands clasped around her throat.

"It's—for—her—own—good," Aunt Rose choked.

"Stay out of it, Rosalie!"

The rest happened too fast for me to make out, but suddenly there were Alice and Esme in my room. My grandmother wrapped herself around Rosalie. Mom was forced to sit on the floor, still showing off her teeth, while Jasper restrained her arms behind her back.

"I'm calling Edward," Aunt Alice screeched.

"You do that," my mother spat.

"She's only defending her child," Esme said.

"Bella, I promise I wasn't abusing her," Uncle Jasper persuaded.

_Uh, don't you think you ought to ask me about that..._

"Then _what_ was that noise?" my mom demanded to know.

"I can explain. I was spanking her—"

"I know! But I've not heard that noise before," she insisted.

_Uh-oh..._

"I think that's because Edward's tricked us," Jasper said.

_Oh, hell._

"What...do you mean?"

"I know the sound was shocking. But it was only a spanking with my hand. I wasn't even warmed up yet."

_Is that so, Uncle Jazz?_

"I don't reckon Edward did what he said he did the other day. That's why we don't know what it sounds like," Jasper finished.

I turned from Uncle Jasper nodding confidently to watch the confusion and outrage on the other vampires' faces.

"Nessie, did your dad spank you the other day?" my mother asked.

I hesitated.

"I don't suppose it would be okay at this point to lie about it...?" I asked, hesitant.

"No!" they exclaimed collectively.

_Ugh, this family is so confusing._

I considered all the raised eyebrows around me. Then looked down to my mother's narrowed gaze. They wanted an answer. Everybody but Alice. Alice already knew, and she nodded at me to go ahead.

"No." My voice was small. I really wished Jake or Uncle Em would come and relieve me...

"I'm going to kill Edward," said my mom.

"I'll help you," Rosalie offered.

"You can let me up now, Jasper," Mom said. "I got to go kill Edward."

No way would I let her do that. Only I was allowed to kill him.

"I'm sorry, Rosalie. I thought—"

"I know, Bella. It's fine. Let's let it go, all right?"

Suddenly, as I had hoped for, Uncle Emmett and Jake appeared looking wary.

"S'all good in the 'hood?" Em asked, looking around.

"Yeah, it's good," I answered quietly.

"Except for Edward," Aunt Rose added.

"It's never good for Edward," Jake laughed.

_Awww, Jake's so funny..._

"All right, then." Emmett looked at me. "If everything's okay, you're on your own, kid."

"I'm fine, thank you."

He left, dragging Jake with him. Rose was reluctantly pushed out by my grandmother.

"Well, if we're done here," I started, edging my way toward the door, "I would like to go hang out with my stud of a boyfriend before he's compelled to go howl at the moon."

"Not so fast, missy," Uncle Jasper drawled.

"I'm telling your father," Alice snipped at me.

"What did I do?" I whined. _God, she is such a squealer..._

"You know what you did," was all she said. She pulled out her cell phone and turned on her heel.

My mother sighed. "So what do we do now?" she asked, still sitting cross-legged on the floor.

"With your permission, Bella," Jasper said, "I would like to have some alone time with Renesmee."

_Noooooo...!_

She stared at him.

"To talk. Just talking. I'll be gentle."

"S'okay with you, Ness?" she asked me.

"Sure, sure," I said, not sounding so sure.

Mother groaned, slapped her palms on her thighs, and rose. She brushed my cheek before leaving. "Call me if you need me. I'm just down the hall."

"She will," Uncle Jasper answered for me.

When we were alone, we looked at each other. He had his arms crossed and one brow cocked. This meant business. There were no warm and fuzzy feelings fizzing around my head. _What did I do?_ I wondered. I wracked my brain. Was he upset that I called him a bastard? 'Cause that wasn't my fault. I was speaking out of my dire straits.

"How are you doing that?" he asked.

"I'm sorry?" I responded.

"How. Are. You. Doing. It?" he asked again, making me feel rather dumb.

"Doing what? Uncle Jasper, I honestly have no idea what you mean."

All of a sudden, I was overwhelmed by the obligation to spill my guts. I sucked in a deep breath and held it, determined to keep my secrets. Then the air came rushing out with a rapid confession. "The other night, when everybody was out and you all thought I was sleeping, I was in bed, and I was thinking of Jacob. Well, and Jared, too, and Paul"—I added in a whisper—"and I used my hand—"

"That's fine, Ness!" Jasper cut me off and the truth serum he had injected wore off like swallowed helium. "That's enough."

"Oh, thank God." I was panting and my cheeks burned. That was almost to humiliating to endure. And no doubt, my father would read his mind later...

Uncle Jasper sighed and shook his head slightly. "You're right. I can tell you don't know." He started to pace the floor so fast he was a blur.

"You want to tell me what's up?" I prompted. He stopped abruptly and spun to face me.

"I'm trying to figure that out." _He_ seemed embarrassed then. I was happy for it. "When I was—and you were—involved in our prior...activity—"

"You mean when you were beating me—"

"I wasn't beating you, but...yes. I was realizing then that your daddy had fooled us. And I felt...something...transpire...a couple seconds before your mama came hauling in like a snapping turtle on crank."

"What was it?"

"I felt you"—he pressed his lips together—"send something out."

I waited for him to continue, but it seemed he was waiting for me to clarify.

"I'm not sure what you're getting at."

"You really don't know what you're doing!" It was an exclamation, not a question.

"Nope." I popped the "p" at the end of the word.

"This is incredible! ...If I'm right. You sent out a distress call and Bella came running. We all thought Edward had tanned your hide good that day, and yet we learn that it was staged. I think you manipulated him—"

I started to object.

"I don't mean that you did it on purpose. Obviously this is unexpected. But I think it's more than you being cute that got us all wrapped around your finger. Not that you aren't uncommonly cute..." he left off.

During the spanking, I did recall thinking I wanted my mother_—"Mom! Why won't you come help me?"—_something along those lines.

"You mean, it's like mind control?" I asked.

"Yes, I reckon so."

I paused to let that sink in. It made sense. I had been very sincere in my plea to my mother for help a moment ago, and eager in my silent requests to my father for mercy the other day.

I shrieked. "That is so freaking awesome! I wonder how strong it is...? It's like your kooky thing with the feelings, Uncle Jazz. But better!" I got a bit carried away speculating about my new super power and its potential influence.

"Well, now, it may only work when you're in danger—or it works better when strong emotions are attached to it. We'll need to do some experiments..."

Without notice, Aunt Alice popped her head in again. She came to sit by me with her phone in hand. "Nessie, I didn't realize you didn't know. I'm sorry for being snippy. I'm going to leave it up to you about whether you tell your parents or not. And I know you'll make the right decision. Because you're a good, responsible girl." She was so ridiculous. As if there was such a thing as keeping secrets from anyone in this family. "You see, I'm right. You're going to tell them. Here, let's call your dad now."

Then I gasped. "I am in deep trouble!" I groaned, covering my eyes.

"Why do you say that?" Uncle Jasper soothed. "I promise, I'm not going to lay a hand on you again. I don't want to risk being dismembered by Bella Cullen if you inadvertently send out an SOS."

"My dad..." I trailed off unhappily. There would be no escaping my certain doom.

_Argh!_ I had been such a well-behaved child when I was young. It pleased me to make the grownups happy. But now...I was a holy terror...and with the power of mind control. They were going to get really tough on me, I was sure of it.

"Hey, Ness." Alice put a hand on my leg. "I can't always see your future, but I know it's going to be okay." She smiled at me.

"Don't worry about your daddy," Jasper said. "He will understand. You're only doing what comes natural to you. I could tell you plenty of stories about his talent getting him into trouble."

"Really?"

"Mm-hm."

"Jazz," Alice said, "I think it would be a good opportunity to tell that story."

"I think you're right, darlin'."

_Oh, good! Story time. And my dad wasn't here to censor it._

"It was about forty years ago now, when we lived in the Smoky Mountains. We attended public high school—well, most of us did. I was not yet safe around humans in close proximity. Anyway, Edward, the old pro, was in gym class, which was usually all right. He knew how to move around the children so as not to hurt them or give himself away. However, one particularly devilish runt was hassling Edward one day with his thoughts. It must have been some kind of rude remark—"

"And you know what a temper your father has," Alice interrupted. I nodded.

"When they came into contact on the playing field, Edward was not as conscientious about his self-control, and he broke the boy's hand."

"Ha!" I laughed but tried quickly to suppress my humor, even though Alice was grinning. "It could have been much worse."

"No doubt. The physical education instructor, however, took the hit as malicious and ordered him to the principal's office. Carlisle didn't get the phone call from the school secretary, being as he was working in emergency, but he saw the injured schoolboy and overheard the story. He didn't quite make it to the school in time. Edward was told to bend over and grab his ankles."

"He didn't know what to do. All the possibilities flashing through my head ended badly no matter what. He could have run away, but it would have exposed us," Alice explained.

Uncle Jasper continued. "When the paddle hit his seat, it splintered into pieces, while at the same time the principal fractured his forearm."

"Oh, my God!"

"I got to the office scarcely before Carlisle did," my aunt said, "but there wasn't much either of us could do. Carlisle treated the man, of course. He ended up paying off the student's family and assuring the principal that Edward would be getting his comeuppance at home."

"And we high-tailed it out of North Carolina," Jasper finished.

I laughed until my eyes watered and my sides hurt. My father was such a child! A very _old_ child. It was impossible to not be enchanted by him.

"Wow," I said, wiping the corners of my eyes. "So you think he'll be patient with me."

"Totally," Alice reassured.

"He's well-acquainted with the sort of burden such a gift carries," my uncle said.

"Besides," Alice chirped, "it can't be too outside the norm. I mean what child doesn't know how to manipulate their parents? We'll all need to be more attentive around you, that's all."

_OMG... Could I be any more of a freak?_ I thought miserably. But I took some rehabilitating breaths—sucked in as much of Jasper's calm as I could—and I easily recovered myself, recalling my father's principal's office ordeal. My mother and father often still needed someone to rescue them out of some sticky situation or other.

And I needed to buck up. _Renesmee Cullen, pull yourself together, girl._ It was time to get back to the business of raising my parents.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Hullo! It's me again.**

**Want to say thanks for your encouraging reviews! Thanks also to my beta. There are two more chapters to go, and I'm hoping dearest beta and all of you kind readers will endure with me.**

**(I've alluded to The Sound of Music throughout this chapter. Don't ask why; there is no reason for it.)**

EPOV

**Act I: So Long, Farewell**

I know, I know. I had said I wouldn't return home ahead of schedule. But then I fielded consecutive phone calls from (1) Alice, (2) Bella, and (3) Jasper—in that order. After those commencing messages, my phone continued to ring with these three callers in random sequence at an average of every four minutes until I finally consented to come home.

I exchanged my ticket for an earlier flight, leaving Carlisle to close on the house we wanted to purchase, which happened to be in Vermont. He wanted to come too when he heard that Bella and Rose had been in a fight, but Esme assured him it was promptly resolved, and I insisted that I was capable of handling the family mayhem in his stead. He hesitantly agreed.

As I made my way back, I registered with interest that the one family member I had not heard from was the culprit herself. I was on Nessie's speed dial, too, and she was as keen as the others to call me if she needed anything. For all I knew, she was serving time in solitary confinement...sans her electronic devices. That or she was really, really cross with me.

It just so happened, when I neared home, that Jasper told me in advance that he had taken her gadgets to prevent any further naughtiness...devious deeds such as transferring money from password-protected checking accounts. _My little hacker..._ It was hard on my pride to admit, but his talent during this particular upheaval helped him to figure out what was going on with Renesmee. She hadn't even known herself what she was capable of, and so I was thankful.

As soon as Nessie heard I was home, I caught a hyper-frantic uninterrupted inner monologue from the upstairs: _"I'm sorry, Daddy. So sorry. It's not my fault! I was born this way..."_ And on it went. She was impounded in her room, but it seemed the family had been enthusiastically practicing with her newfound super power.

Emmett met me first.

"Oh, man, Edward. Wait till you see it! She's wicked manipulative. She didn't want to tell Jake yet, and so she can make him do things. And it's hilarious!"

"Like what things?" I asked him.

"Whatever Rose tells her to make him do. He fought the urge for as long as he could and then drank out of the toilet when he thought we wouldn't hear. But you'll be happy to know that the rest of us who know the secret can resist her hoodoo. But damn—it's not easy. Like she tried to get Alice to spray paint her collection of this season's Christian Somebody's bags. Ali went as far as to toss them out on the lawn, but then she figured it out. Jazz thinks it's only going to get stronger with practice—like Bella's shield."

Alice was standing there pinching her lips, so as not to interrupt. She was giving me a mental commentary in tandem with Emmett's information. I was listening to Emmett's stories, the version in Alice's head, and Renesmee's incessant apologies.

"By the way, everybody is really mad at you, dude," Em said. "Apparently today is Trash-Talk Edward Day."

"Yes, I gathered that."

Then Bella, from somewhere inside the house, lifted her shield and told me silently, _"I am really mad at you..._dude_."_

Delightful.

I browsed through the disorganized filing system of futures in Alice's mind and selected the scene in which Bella and I confront each other. The setting was our bedroom—it was fiery and it ended with turbulent love making..._under_ the bed. The reason for that, I will not reveal, seeing that this story is rated for teens. (Hey, we had been separated for a couple of days. Don't be a killjoy, okay?) I will, however, highlight the pertinent parts of the conversation. The Clash of the Cullens...

**Act II: Seventeen Going on Eighteen**

"I cannot believe you lied to me. You made me look like a fool! Actually...actually I can believe you lied. Because _you, _sir, are a liar. You lie to me whenever it suits whatever stupid theory you're on about when it's proverbially for my own good. Well, you know what's good for me, mister? Honesty. Honesty is good for me, and that is what is good for our marriage."

She punched my shoulder with her fist to accent the important words. I backed up.

"Now, Bella, I didn't lie. I...allowed you to believe something happened that didn't."

"And I'm never going to believe you again!"

"I think you are blowing this out of proportion. Especially being that I ought to be mad at you."

"Me? Why?"

"Because Jasper was handling it. And I was going to come home and finish it, but you—you took leave of your senses and tried to fight Jasper..._and_ Rosalie!"

"Nessie manipulated me."

"That's what happened to me, too."

"You lied." Bella was poking me in the chest repeatedly.

"You attacked. As it so happens, you're attacking me now."

She elbowed me hard in the gut. "Try truthfulness. Truth becomes you, Edward."

"All right. All right. Enough of that." I held up my hands for a truce. She made a half-hearted attempt to slap me across the face, but I ducked. "I lied because I'm sort of scared of you, Bella, so if you stop trying to hurt me, the more likely I am to tell the truth." She deliberately swept her hair behind her shoulder and crossed her arms.

"The _truth_ remains," I continued, "that we are parents to—not a mind-_reading_ vampire—but a mind-_controlling_ vampire-human hybrid. I'm going to ask the question we ask ourselves recurrently: What do we do now?"

"_You_ go in there and follow through for once. You can start where you left off."

It occurred to me then that Bella was being hypocritical. "No. You can't fool me again with your anti-spanking scheme. If you are in reality so against corporal punishment, you wouldn't be pushing me to spank our daughter. If that's what's going to happen, then I require you to participate. If you feel this intensely about how we raise our daughter, then how about you stop throwing it all in my lap and blowing up at me when I drop it? Do something!"

Quite unused to me shouting back at her, she bit her lip. After a moment she nodded, reluctant. " 'Kay. Back to the question then. What do we do now?"

"You're going to ask Jasper what to do," Alice directed from downstairs.

**Act III: How Do You Solve a Problem Like Renesmee?**

And we did just that...after engaging in the aforementioned recreational activities. I had to warn Alice and Rosalie several times to stay out of it (the business with Renesmee—_not_ the boinking under the bed). We would consult Jasper and only Jasper; he was invested in this problem. We trusted him. In spite of that, both sisters felt obligated to give their opinions by way of my mind reading. Rose wanted to complain about Bella and me and our inferior parenting skills. Alice was trying to convince me to listen to Jasper, not realizing that she was hindering my ability to pay attention with her constant jabber. I tried to ignore them and focus on what my brother was saying.

"It was the craziest thing. When my hand struck her skin, I saw a short flash of what she was thinking. These flashes included specific 'reaches' for Bella. I felt the desperation of her summons."

"Wait. You spanked her without clothing?" I asked, embarrassed for Nessie as I saw Jasper's memories of the perfunctory event.

"Don't worry, Edward. She was properly anesthetized."

"I tried to tell him that was inappropriate," Bella told me.

"It was necessary. If you wanted me to do a thorough job, I needed to see what I was doing."

I supposed I should have expected that. Not only was Major Whitlock thorough, he also believed in a firm hand when it came to discipline, even if that hand was rigorously applied to bare flesh. Indignity was part of the punishment—that was his conviction. Carlisle's too.

Jasper suggested to us what he thought needed to happen, and Bella and I concurred. What he proposed sounded fair and relatively fast.

"Edward and Bella, you two need to come together about this. She will try to pit you against each other—and she may not realize she's doing it. Be deliberate. And don't be afraid to be hard on her. She's tough with two _f'_s, just like her momma." He winked at Bella.

**Intermission: Please enjoy this upbeat Austrian waltz before the final act.**

**Act IV: Climb Ev'ry Mountain**

We made our way to Nessie's room to give her the unpleasant tidings.

She was rueful but happy to see me, asking if she could leave her room yet. We shook our heads sadly and didn't delay telling her what would happen next.

"Two spankings? But Jasper already spanked me," she complained.

"I wouldn't call three smacks a spanking. The point is, you still have not been punished for your impertinence earlier this week...nor for your spiteful offense with the automobile purchase. Therefore, two spankings—one for each transgression." That was our resolution.

"Well," she searched her quilt as though an excuse would surface in the calico, "hasn't my statute of limitations run out?"

"I'm afraid not. You see, we all have perfect memories. And no family member is going to forget that you got away with something. As much as I would be eager to let you off for past misbehavior, the others love nothing more than justice, and you would feel the same if you were in their place."

"They're damn nosy, too," Bella muttered.

"Daddy...?" Nessie paused to phrase her question. "Did you ever consider the logic of corporal punishment? Spanking seems to me an awfully convenient way for an adult to take out their frustrations by hitting the child on a relatively 'safe' part of the body."

My thoughts precisely when I had been on the receiving end of a beating. Had I been in a temper still, this spanking would have been about release for that anger, and that would have been unacceptable. But I was not upset anymore. "Yes, I have thought of that, but your argument is not going to help you in this case. The fact is left that you did wrong. So you get to suffer, while the rest of us get to feel better about your suffering."

"Jeez, people! What happened to 'This hurts me more than it hurts you'?"

That was Carlisle's line, not mine.

"I guess it's better to give than to receive," I quipped.

"Fine. Let's get it over with." She stretched out on the bed. "Go ahead."

_Oh..._when she put it that way, I didn't want to do it. "I—I'm not ready yet. I need to...psyche myself up first. Bella? You want to do it?"

My wife screwed up her face and shook her head vehemently.

Renesmee sighed and sat up. My little girl wasn't going to take this lying down. "Then I would like to propose in the meantime that this mess is all Mother's fault for insisting that you spank me the other day when you didn't want to. She set us up. What is _her_ punishment going to be?"

_Uh-oh._

"Renesmee! It was deserved and you know it. You spoke horribly to your father and me," Bella reminded sternly. "You bought a car with stolen money. How are these things my fault?"

She did a face plant into her pillow. "Why can't Fraulein Maria be my mother?" she asked, her question muffled by fabric and feathers. Renesmee had watched _The Sound of Music_ exactly sixty-seven times growing up. She was a big Rodgers and Hammerstein fan. Nevertheless, her remark was extremely insulting to my wife, who had _died_ giving birth to this insolent child!

"Excuse me!" Bella exclaimed.

In an effort to diffuse the hostility, I made a most unhelpful remark. "Actually, Ness, I met one of the Von Trapp daughters in Vienna years ago, and she told me that her stepmother was an outright shrew. Nothing like Julie Andrews. No 'Do-Re-Mi' and all that."

"Typical," Nessie muttered.

"When can I spank her?" Bella asked with a frown. She looked rather...eager to be about the task.

"Um...when you're calm," I said, but it came out sounding like a question.

"I'm calm."

I weighed the options. We needed to spread out the punishments. And if we waited too long, and our wild child had further opportunity to get back at us, we might be obliged to add a third or fourth spanking to the schedule. It would be good if Bella could take care of number one tonight.

"All right," I said.

_"I'm scared of her,"_ Nessie thought to me.

_Me, too_, I agreed.

Bella seated herself in a desk chair and waited. Nessie flitted to my side, anxious. _"Why can't _you_ do it, Daddy?" _she asked me silently.

I looked at her and tried to smile reassuringly. "Go on, little chicken," I coaxed, pushing her a bit.

Nessie straightened herself up. "I'm not a chicken," she said, indignant, making her way to Bella.

"I know." I suppressed a chuckle.

Then came an awkward but surprisingly quaint moment, in which I helped Bella and Nessie find a comfortable position that worked well for the spanking.

"Is this right?" Bella asked.

"Here. Let's let her hold onto the chair, keeping her toes fixed on the floor to keep her balanced. Yes, like that. See? Now, you'll need to hold her with this arm so she doesn't slide. There."

Bella took a deep breath. Nessie shut her eyes. Then Bella tugged down her pajama pants. Nessie wasn't wearing panties. I turned my face down to study the floorboards.

"Nessie..." Bella's voice quavered. "You understand that we are not punishing you for your powers, right?"

"Yeah," she answered, her voice meek again.

"This is about your attitude and wrong behavior."

"I get it."

"Edward," Bella spoke, seemingly spontaneous. "Get me that hairbrush."

I looked around, but it wasn't in Nessie's room. I ran to Bella's and my bedroom and found it on her vanity table. I returned to where the girls were mentally and psychologically stabilizing for the imminent battering.

With my gaze directed away from the scene, I handed Bella the implement. She wasted no time putting it to use, raising it and letting the sleek wooden oval strike. Nessie gasped and moaned.

With the next swats, Ness only mewled when the brush made contact, holding her breath between the strokes. Bella smacked again and again, until eventually the girl was crying so steadily it didn't make any difference when the brush made its timed descent.

Ah, yes, there it was. The overwhelming compulsion to call an end to this misery. I stilled myself and concentrated on Bella's movements so as not to give in to Nessie's SOS.

I had lied again. This wasn't making me feel any better. I stole a look at Bella and noticed the symptoms of vampire crying. At least Nessie couldn't see us falling apart with the way she was head-down over Bella's knee.

When Bella ended the spanking, she kept Nessie in position until she could manage her emotions. After she pulled the waistband over Nessie's poor reddened hide, she helped the girl up. Renesmee fell into her mother's lap again, but this time she nuzzled her face into Bella's chest, wailing her regret nonsensically. I could tell Bella felt better to have our daughter's affection again, and she rubbed her back and hushed her. I wrapped my arms around both my girls, kissed their heads, and we stayed that way until Nessie's sobs turned to hiccups.

"When are you spanking me again?" Ness asked when Bella and I made to leave.

"In the morning," I said. "Get some sleep." I started humming "My Favorite Things," which made her smile wearily.

"Wait," she called, picking up and holding out the hairbrush to us. "Take this. I don't want it."

Her look of abhorrence made us laugh, but we waited until we were in the hall and the door was shut to give way to our mirth and vampire tears.


	8. Chapter 8

RPOV

I lifted my skirt to my waist and turned to peek at my poor bottom in the bathroom mirror. Around the edges of my white cotton panties, a striated pattern made its mark on my skin—stray portions of pink ovals applied at various angles.

_Awesome._ The freaking hairbrush had _imprinted_ on me. _Grrr!_

I supposed I would need to be extra careful when changing for gym this afternoon...oh, and I needed to keep the wind from blowing my kilt up in the back when I walked outside between classes. (I had done a couple sensational impersonations of Marilyn Monroe recently.)

A knock interrupted my musing, and I hastily smoothed down my skirt. Opening the door, I found my father brooding darkly in the hall. (Mr. Randall, the bad-tempered headmaster at St. Gertrude's, where I attended school, had nothing on my dad's mopey face.)

"Good morning," I greeted, my voice empty of enthusiasm.

He smiled wryly. His eyes glazed over with that doting, nostalgic cast that meant he was indulging a memory.

He confirmed. "I'm remembering when you used to tonelessly announce, 'It's the morning,' when you woke up each day. Always so serious, Renesmee."

I didn't want to reminisce about when Nessie was cute and sweet. Those days had come to a sudden end. My dad frowned.

"I still think you're cute," he protested.

"I'll be out soon," I promised, trying to push the door shut, but he stuck his foot in the way.

_Oh!_ He was coming in. Of course he knew I was in there stalling for time. I could always hope they would forget...or change their minds. A girl can dream, right? I stepped aside, and he closed the door behind him.

_O-kay..._ _I guess we're doing the thing in here, then._

Thank God he didn't have that beastly brush with him. To hit somebody with that thing was messed up. Sick. And wrong. Didn't they know that? I reminded myself to communicate that to my mother. I would take the time to make her see it from my perspective. I'd bet no one ever hit her with one of those. If they had, she wouldn't be so determined to use it on me.

For a stupid second, I thought about running.

Alas, he saw my escape fantasy. "You know I've been _letting_ you win our races all these years. I _can_ out-run you," he warned. "I can out-run everyone in this family."

Oh, God, was he bragging now?

"But I'm still sore from last night. There are red hairbrush streaks on my butt. And I'm really too old for a spanking."

"I flew home early to do this. Don't deprive me of the pleasure."

Jeez, he sounded grumpy. He often teased like this, but you could hear the humor underneath his sarcasm. This morning he sounded different.

"I don't like that you've put me in this situation," my father replied to my thoughts. "This..." he was searching for the right word, "sucks."

_"You suck,"_ I thought, not thinking before...well, thinking.

"Nessie," he scolded mildly. I started to object; we'd had _that_ conversation frequently, and so he tried not to reprimand me for reckless thinking. "I know you didn't mean it like you said it," he reassured.

At least there was an up side to having a mind-reading father. He did understand when I was joking.

"You know what sucks is this family," I said, trying to change the subject. "And I don't mean that literally either. There's no yodeling..."

"Still on about _The Sound of Music?_"

"No puppet shows—"

"I bet Jasper could put on a stellar puppet show."

"I don't even want to hear his name right now," I groaned.

"Fine." He thought for a moment. "No Nazis either."

"I thought I said I didn't want to talk about Jasper!" I mock-accused. "Pervy Nazi uncle..."

At least that got him to laugh. "There's one in every family," he quipped.

"I didn't mean what I said about wishing my mother were the Baroness Von Trapp. I was just angry. I hope she knows I'm sorry."

He listened for a moment. "She knows now."

I remembered how my Grandmother Esme would watch that musical over and over again with me when Rosalie would eventually refuse. She used to commend it—"It's so clean and decent and good"—giving away her true age, I always thought.

At my memory, Dad tried a bit too hard to fix his grouchy face and over-corrected with a big bogus smile. Reading my disapproval again, no doubt, the smile disappeared and he clapped his hands with unconvincing enthusiasm. "All right, let's get this over with. You've got school."

I sighed. "I don't think Mrs. Bennett's going to let me stand up during Government this morning."

"I don't feel sorry for you, Renesmee."

"I had to sleep on my stomach last night!"

He shook his head.

I swallowed. _Well, fine! Be that way!_

His eyes made a rapid sweep of the room. He grabbed my wrist and swung me to his side. Then he stuck a foot up on the edge of the bathtub and tipped me over his thigh. I was afraid of falling at first, because there was nothing for me to hold onto! But his arm circled my waist, holding me securely to his body, while the other hand flicked my skirt up. It was happening so fast. _Whoa! Wait!_ I thought as hard as I could.

But the spanking had begun surprisingly when my father whacked the seat of my panties with his hand. I alternated between shrieking and sucking in air through my teeth as he slapped me over and over. This was not the calm, tactical approach I was used to. (_Okay, Nessie, you're getting a spanking for being a wicked child. Come here and bend over._) This was a high-speed assault, and it was unsparing in harshness and pain.

"Emmett, go away!" my father growled to the air, pausing for a few seconds. "No, I'm not killing her. She making you _think_ that," he said quietly through gritted teeth. I knew Uncle Em heard him, but I didn't know how. Last I knew he was in the garage with Aunt Rose.

I felt so _exposed_. And not just because my father had me dangling in the air, paddling my behind like I was a toddler who had crossed the street by herself. The whole family knew I was getting a spanking. But more than that, they all knew about my controversial ability. Even when I didn't mean to use mind control, they _knew_ I was doing it and judged me for it.

When I silently pleaded for the spanking to stop, my dad spanked harder. "Owie!" I cried. Not even the baby talk affected his commitment to my discipline. _Oh, hell!_

_Why, oh why had I been bad?_ I guessed that there was a part of me that didn't think I would actually have to face consequences for my wrongdoing. Heck, I'd gotten away with it several times already. Another voice told me that if I did get caught, a spanking wasn't so bad. It would be worth all the trouble.

It was most definitely NOT worth it.

The sound of the spanking was almost more shocking than the beating itself, and my butt radiated with the reignited blaze. Mom had started the fire; dad was fanning it. (Or should I say, _tanning_ it?)

Thank God it was over quickly, and he slid me backwards off his knee. When my feet hit the floor, I began puffing air and rubbing my behind, bouncing on my toes. I'm sure it looked like a really dorky dance, but he didn't watch me and I was beyond being embarrassed.

When the sting of the spanking faded, I narrowed my eyes and glared at him.

_If you think this is going to be one of those picturesque after-spanking scenes with hugs and kisses and tears and apologies, you've got another thing coming!_ I thought at him critically. _I am too mad to be affectionate with you._ I crossed my arms and turned away from him.

I knew I had hurt his feelings, but I was too angry and too prideful to make it better.

He took a big breath.

"All right, Ness. I'm going to leave you alone, but you need to know this: from now on, when you misbehave, we will take care of it promptly, like we did just now. It's unconventional these days, but it's what works in this family. The good thing is, you can avoid spankings by behaving yourself. Am I understood?"

"You know I understand."

"Good... I love you." I think he kept looking at me, but I don't know for sure because I was still facing the shower curtain.

When he finally left, my lower lip started to quiver. I sat on the lid of the toilet seat and quickly jumped back up again, a sob catching in my throat. Why was I crying? It was not the pain, surprisingly...it was..._shame_. I was ashamed of how I had behaved and ashamed by how I had treated my father. The annoying thing was that he knew how I really felt. And that made me furious over and above my guilt and irritation.

I washed the tears from my cheeks and pouted to myself in the mirror. My face was probably as red as the blush on the other end. I then chanced another look at my backside, this time pulling the panties down for a more thorough inspection. It was a swollen, splotchy, red mess. My temperature naturally ran on the high side, but my butt felt hot enough to cook on.

When my face looked somewhat normal again, I walked back to my bedroom and checked the time. Aunt Rose would be driving me to school in half an hour. Usually I looked forward to the days when Jake drove me, but today I was relieved he wouldn't see me like I was. I supposed I needed to eat breakfast still. I really wanted to kill something, but unfortunately there wasn't time for that. Cereal would have to do.

Making my way down the corridor, I heard a ruckus coming from inside my parents' bedroom. _Ew!_ I should be used to it by now—the way they pounce on each other like animals whenever they get the chance—but I couldn't quite accept that my parents were a couple...and a romantic one at that. What's more, they were recorded for posterity as literary lovers in a very popular fantasy romance saga. (And _my_ boyfriend had been featured in the love triangle of that plot, but I do my best not to think about that.)

_So my dad finishes blistering my behind to go get it on with my mother? What the hell? How insulting! And gross._

But why was my mother yelling for Auntie Alice? That didn't make any sense. I didn't think my parents did anything kinky...not with threesomes or swinging or anything like that anyway. And didn't they consider Alice to be their sister?

_Nuh-ugh-ack!_ I started to choke on my own spit. What sort of sick fantasy was going on in there?

_I should just ignore this and walk away,_ I told myself. _Turn yourself right around, missy, and go to the kitchen. Now, Ness! It's not your business. If they're organizing an orgy in there, you are way too young to think about such things, and those are your parents, for godsakes—_

"Pardon me, Nessie! It's not what you think," Alice sang, rushing by me to open the bedroom door and intrude on my mom and dad. Jasper was on her heels...and Rosalie. Holy chickadee! What was going on?

I had covered my eyes to keep from gawking, but then I couldn't help peeking into the room. There I saw my father, face down on the floor, thrashing and yelling. Uncle Jasper pinned Daddy's arms to the ground, while Alice and Rose sat on his legs. His jeans were down around his ankles, and Mom was smacking the back of his boxers.

"Bella!" he screamed. "Stop it!"

"That is for lying to me, Edward!" she boasted, looking quite satisfied with herself. "There will be no more deceit from you, Edward Masen Cullen. Not unless you want to pay the price!"

How had my mother managed this? I had never seen my father caught like this. I thought he could "out-run everyone in this freaking family." (I'm saying that in my cocky, deep-voice impersonation of my father, and "freaking" would be my own personal addition.)

Emmett and Esme stood behind me suddenly as I peered through the fingers I'd spread over my eyes. Uncle Em gave a thunderous laugh that vibrated with the rhythm of my mother's right hand.

"Finally!" he boomed.

My grandmother squeezed past me. "May I, Bella? When you're finished, of course," she asked politely. Mom cheerfully granted her request, and Esme took over the spanking.

"This, young man, is for back-talking me during the hunting trip in Anchorage."

"Ow! Mom, that was last year!"

"Use his belt, Esme," Emmett was gleefully directing.

This was so...weird. Seeing my dad get spanked by my mother...and then by _his_ mother. With everyone watching...

It looked painful. I dropped my hands from my eyes to hold my own backside in sympathy. Poor Daddy!

This was all my fault, I realized. _OMG!_ _I_ had gotten him in trouble by being such a spoiled brat. I hadn't thought of that before as being a consequence of my actions.

"Please leave him alone," I exclaimed.

It was so awful seeing him like that. My father was powerful and fast and strong. But there he was tackled to the ground, lying helpless—and they were all taking turns beating him.

"Stop it! All of you! Get out! You...MONSTERS!" I shouted as loud as I could to get their attention. They looked up at me, the eager retribution in their expressions melting into contrition. I was crying again, but Jasper helped me out with a gust of humor, which didn't make me happy, but it helped to calm me.

"You ought to be ashamed of yourselves!"

"Sorry, Ness. We were just having fun," Rosalie said softly.

One by one they left, smiling regretfully at me, until it was my mom and me left looking at my broken father.

"Oh, Nessie," my mother soothed, petting my hair. "He's not hurt—not very. But he has been very bad—"

"Because of me!" I interrupted.

"It's not your fault. Are you all right?"

I nodded. "Can I be alone with him?"

"Of course, sweetheart. I'll make you a waffle for your breakfast. Don't take too long."

Daddy was still curled up on the floor. Sometime since I called them off, he had gotten his pants up again. I knelt beside his head and mussed with his already mussed-up hair.

"It was nothing, Renesmee. I let them capture me to make them feel better. Please don't be upset." His voice was a crackly whisper.

"I'm so sorry, Daddy." I felt awful.

"It's okay," he smiled.

"No, it's not. Listen. I'm a smart alec. And stubborn. Vengeful and devious."

"You come by it honestly at least." He kissed my hand. "You're my child—I'll get used to it."

I nestled up beside him, in his embrace. He rested his chin on my head. It actually felt good to rest my smarting bottom against his body, since he was so cold.

"But I'm still sorry. I didn't even want that stupid car," I whined. "They should have spanked me instead, for making you lie."

He chuckled. "Are you asking for another spanking? Or did I give you enough to keep you out of trouble for a while?"

"Mmmm..." I made a face. "I don't know how long I can stay out of trouble, but I wouldn't want you to hurt your hand, Daddy. You're in enough pain as it is."

"How thoughtful."

I noticed then that something had shifted back to normal. His voice was...content again. His mood was level. "You're happy again?"

"Mm-hm," he hummed.

"How come?

"Because that ridiculous punishment I just endured made you love me again."

"I always love you, Daddy. Even when I'm mad at you. I was really only mad at _me_, anyway. I don't know why I can't be good, and it makes me frustrated."

"I know." He was quiet for a moment. "Anytime I can be miserable for your pleasure, I am overjoyed to do it."

"Oh, yeah?" He didn't sound like he was being sarcastic...

"That's what makes me happy," he added.

"Being miserable?"

I felt him nod his head.

Boy, I could learn a lot from him. If I could go around with a sore tush and be happy and grateful for it, life would be a lot easier. Because I was pretty sure I would be getting into quite a bit more trouble in the future.

He laughed. "Happiness for me is doing my best for the women I love. If I can suffer to make your life better, I'll do it without any hesitation. When I can sacrifice for you and Bella, that's when I'm the most satisfied."

_Awww..._ How could I stay mad at him? He liked to be tortured for my sake.

Now that I was thinking of it, _I_ was probably the source of most of his suffering these days. The proverbial thorn in his side.

_Sure, Daddy, _I thought, smugly._ You like to suffer? Your pain would be my pleasure. Allow me to twist that thorn in your side a bit more..._

That ought to make him really happy!

**Author's note: Good news! (Unless you despise this story, then feel free to groan.) I've got the next chapter written! It's Carlisle's (Dr. C.'s) take on things. Send me lots of "bonny" reviews and I'll post it. (Don't you hate it when writers do that? I do. Still...I'm feeling very impish today.)**

**I'm writing an outtake about Edward's trip to the principal's office, as detailed in chapter 6, so please look for that in the next couple weeks.**

**Love you!**

**-E**


	9. Chapter 9

CPOV

As sorry as I was that Edward had to leave me, there was something I needed to get out of my system before I returned home to where my mind-reading son resided.

As a matter of course, I didn't like to see Edward upset. Nonetheless...in this case...I couldn't help but feel a bit vindicated.

Over the ages I've come to understand something about human nature. It's their fancy for retribution—you reap what you sow, that sort of thing. It's also called karma in Hindu and Buddhist traditions. The truth is, people crave justice. "That's not fair" is not merely a popular saying, but a protest to the whole bloody universe, because the human yearns for balance in the realm of the living.

Parents of rebellious children, for example, will go so far as to curse their progeny with the same experience of raising an unruly child. "I hope you have a son and that he does the same thing to you!" they may exclaim, either in an impulsive fit or as a silent ongoing rage in their head. Somehow that thought comforts the parent going through the tumultuous teenage years.

Apparently vampires share human nature in that respect, because _I_ was experiencing it. Renesmee was giving Edward a run for his money, and I was giddy with delight...although I hoped I had done a decent job of hiding my perverse pleasure. How awful it would be if Edward knew how I really felt!

Of course I didn't mind helping Edward and Bella out with Nessie, if they needed my support. However, I was quite content in this situation to sit back and watch the spectacle play out.

Please don't judge. If I had the time, I would tell you about all the distress he's dragged me through over the decades. Not that we haven't had a good run—nor would I trade any of it for another Edward. But, had he been slightly more...easy-going, I wouldn't have minded.

But that's all I'm going to say about that. Moving on...

When I arrived back at the house in the late afternoon, Esme filled me in on what all I had missed during the last day or more, keeping me properly entertained for well over an hour. My wife and I kept a low profile then, eavesdropping from my study room, because Nessie had brought her best mates home from school.

My granddaughter didn't have a lot of time to spare for human friendships, because she spent so many afternoons with her devoted Jacob. But now and again she invited a group of young ladies over to the house. They always complimented Nessie's hair, and although she never did anything to it, she said that her "sister" Alice was her stylist. Therefore, Alice and Rosalie got to play beauty shop on the occasional afternoon with willing participants, which was a welcome diversion.

"Is Jasper here?" I overheard the girl named Taylor ask.

Alice answered. "No, he's not at the moment."

"Oh," she said, evidently disappointed.

Nessie exhaled in contempt. "Stay away from Jasper. He's insane! He tried to spank me the other day."

The girls gasped and giggled. I was rather shocked that Nessie would say anything about that.

"No way!"

"Oh, my God!"

Haleigh, another classmate, surprised us all by moaning in a sultry voice, "Spank _me_, Jasper."

"Shut up!" Nessie hissed. Alice laughed delightedly, and it sounded like someone dropped a hair appliance.

"You're sick," Taylor said.

"Ow!" Haleigh cried, and I guessed someone had pinched her. "What? Jasper Hale is...mmm...suckable sexy."

"Get it, girl!"

Esme looked at me with her mouth agape. "Nessie doesn't think about things like that, does she?"

I shook my head. "I don't think so. Not yet anyway."

Interestingly, Renesmee was probably one of the few girls in her class who was in a steady relationship with a young man. And yet she still wasn't too curious about sexual relations. That was, unless she wasn't letting on. I was aware that young people knew a lot more these days than they used to. Although with a mind-reading father, Nessie usually didn't get away with pretense.

This made me recall the day a couple years ago when she asked how "babies got _borned _[sic]." We still lived in Forks then and Nessie sat at the table in the kitchen, eating her breakfast. The question was deferred to me, being the physician. Since she hadn't asked how babies were _made_, I skipped the lecture on intercourse and gave a cursory scientific description of labor and delivery—something appropriate for a young child, I thought.

Little Nessie's face contorted with horror. "You mean babies come out of the girl bits?"

I confirmed. "Uh, well, yes...but the nurses usually give the babies a bath directly afterward," I added hastily to alleviate her distaste.

Her lip wrinkled and she started to gag. Then she pushed her oatmeal away in disgust. "I'm not hungry anymore."

Then Edward came to the rescue, modestly explaining that Nessie had been cut out of Bella's body, sparing the gory details. She was only slightly relieved.

The grim irony of the conversation wasn't lost to us. In the backs of our minds was the question, _Could Nessie reproduce?_ And what would be the outcome of Renesmee's DNA mixing with the werewolf gene? The unknown was problematic.

I digress, however.

That evening, when the school girls had left and all of the family was home for the night, we met together around the dining table for a Cullen meeting. It was just on Nessie's bedtime, and the aforementioned had come in with a soft pillow, which she dramatically posited in her chair before delicately sitting upon it. Edward rolled his eyes.

"What?" she cheeked. "Since you all are so concerned about my derriere, I thought you would want to know that it hurts—and for real, this time."

"It's called justice, Renesmee," Rosalie said with a stern nod.

We ignored the injured wildcat sulking in the corner, and I passed around photographs of the new house. Together we hatched a plan for the future eastern relocation, which would take place about a year later. I also had brought back gifts from Vermont, which I handed out with enthusiasm. Maple syrup for Jacob, jumpers for the girls, caps for the boys, art, books, CDs, and such.

I presented Nessie her package. "And last but not least...for you, my dear." Her face lit up. "Actually, this might be a present for Edward and Bella...but I was thinking of you when I bought it." I grinned. Edward, seeing the object in my mind, laughed out loud. My granddaughter looked curious as she unwrapped the paper.

"It's heavy," she remarked, untying the ribbon. "Oh, very funny, Granddaddy. Are you trying to give me nightmares?"

"Not trying to be funny...or scary. It's a very well-made item. I special-ordered it from a woodworking artisan I met in Stowe. I told him I had seven children."

"Don't forget the dog," Rosalie said, sticking out her tongue at Jacob. He made a face back at her.

"The craftsman made it very durable," I continued.

_It_ was a wooden paddle, about 30 centimeters long on the business end, made of oak with leather around the handle for gripping. I liked it so much, in fact, I decided to put in an order at a notable tanners shop in London for a leather version (that wouldn't break on vampire skin). At that thought, Edward and Alice raised their eyebrows at me. I shrugged. They knew how much I appreciated a good implement for corporal punishment.

"Will you look at that," Emmett exclaimed. "It's even got a loop for hanging. Nessie, you can hang it on the wall in your room!"

"I'm feeling dizzy," Ness muttered, her fingers pushing on her temples.

"Come here, dear," I offered, my arms open. "Do you have a headache?" She nodded and crawled into my lap. I placed a cool hand on her forehead, guessing that the problem wasn't likely in her head at all.

"That's enough teasing, you guys," Bella said. "She's had a rough time."

"Aw!" Emmett pushed Nessie's shoulder lightly. "Don't be like that. We all get into trouble. It's not like any of us are Jesus Christ around here. Except maybe Carlisle comes close, but he can't help being perfect."

How I wished they wouldn't think of me in that way. I was far from perfect and always aware of it. And although my brood regularly got themselves mixed up in some mischief or another—in this unconventional father's humble opinion—they were perfect.

"I get into plenty of nonsense," I argued, "like the rest of you. It seems I'm always in trouble with Esme." She smiled indulgently at me. "And growing up, I think I recall upsetting my father on more than one occasion. There's nothing for any of us to be ashamed of. Even Jesus made trouble for his parents."

"Yeah, right." That was Emmett again. "Good thing Jesus isn't in this family. Can you imagine having a perfect brother? Thank God we've got Edward," he joked, nudging Jasper.

"No, it's true," I insisted. "The Gospel of Luke tells the story of when Jesus was twelve and traveled to Jerusalem with his family for the annual feast. They all started back to Nazareth and walked for an entire day before they realized that Jesus wasn't with them. His mother and father traveled back to Jerusalem and searched for three days before they found him in the Temple with the teachers."

"I would have been in so much trouble had that been me," Nessie commented. "My parents would have sent Uncle Jazz into the Temple to bust my ass."

"Nessie," Edward interjected dryly, "I don't think it's proper to use the word _ass_ in the midst of a Sunday school lesson." His sarcasm was clearly intended for me, as he didn't put much stock in "Sunday school lessons." He courteously endured all my little moral stories, however, when I was in a mood to tell them.

"So what did he have to say for himself?" Jacob asked.

"Oh, Jesus, you mean? He said, 'Why did you seek me? Did you not know that I must be about my Father's business?' "

"Sounds like a good tactic," Bella cheered. "Answer a question with another question. Way to sidetrack 'em, Jesus!"

"Sounds like back-talk to me," Esme countered.

"Had he been my son," Rosalie remarked, "I would have smacked him across his impertinent mouth. _'I_ am your mother! You had better tell _me_ before you go being about your father's business.' "

I cringed at the image of Rose striking the young Savior.

"And that's why you're not the mother of God, Rosalie." Edward smirked. He expeditiously ducked as a spike-heeled shoe sailed across the table and over his head.

"I think it was the parents' fault. How do you lose the only son of God?" Jasper pointed out.

"Well, _I_ wouldn't have lost him," Alice said, sounding superior.

Nessie yawned.

"It's late, Ness," Edward noted. "You can go to bed now."

"Okay," she said sleepily.

"Don't forget this," Jasper said, handing her the paddle. He had been whapping it lightly into the palm of his hand.

"Thank...you," she mumbled, disturbed. She stood up and fetched her pillow. "Oh, Mom? And Grandmother...and Aunt Rose...? I want all the mothers to know so they don't go stressing...I need to be about _my_ father's business tomorrow."

Bella laughed. "And what would that be?"

"Daddy is making me attend an all-day finance seminar in the city. Jacob's going with me, so don't go freaking out because I'm gone."

"Take your phone with you," Bella said.

"If you take the subway, stay on the orange line," said Rosalie.

"And keep away from the French sailors," Alice directed. We all looked at her with anticipation, as though waiting for the punch line, but she was quite serious. "They're not really interested in practicing their English," she warned.

"As a general rule, Ness, stay away from _all_ sailors," Edward amended.

"Now, Jacob, you take good care of our precious cargo," said Esme.

"I will," he promised.

Emmett wanted in on all the bossing then, and so he affected a matronly voice. "Look both ways before crossing the street, children."

"And don't talk to strangers," Jasper added.

"Sure, sure." Nessie yawned again.

"Yeah, we get it. And just say no, right?" Jacob joked.

Emmett wasn't quite finished. "And don't use the excuse that everyone is doing it, because if all your friends decided to jump off a cliff—"

"That's enough, Em," Bella spoke up. "Not funny."

"Oh, that's right!" he crowed. "All your friends _do_ jump off of cliffs. Even your mother jumps off cliffs!"

"And you're on thin ice, lad," I informed him.

I wasn't cross about his teasing, but I couldn't be sure where he was headed. We all wanted to forget that Bella's cliff-diving had led to Edward's suicide attempt in Volterra, but it was impossible not to link the two events. In addition, Esme had ended her human life by jumping from a cliff. I had even tried to destroy myself by leaping from steep crags when I was a newborn vampire. Needless to say, it was a sore subject. I supposed I could use a bit more of my son's sort of good humor about it, but I wasn't quite there yet.

With Emmett subdued, Bella left with an arm around Nessie to escort her upstairs. Then the others followed to their various nighttime pursuits, and it was Jacob, Edward, Esme, and I remaining at the table.

Jacob looked uncomfortable—as though he wished he had left with the others.

I think Edward then decided to put him out of his misery.

"Jake," he called, achieving his attention. He pulled a tennis ball from his pocket and held it up. Jacob's eyes widened—energy building—and he swallowed his excitement. Then Edward crossed to the wall and opened the window—all the while Jacob tracked his every movement. He showed the ball again, then threw it away from the house. In a blink, Jacob was gone, chasing that ball to God knew where. We heard the front door open and slam. Then it was quiet.

"And so the Cullens can add mind-control to their repertoire of ability," I began, to bring up the subject of Nessie's new power.

"It's good bloodlines," Esme complimented. "We're a talented family."

Edward snorted. "It is quite a pedigree. She inherited a few other less-than-admirable traits as well."

"Being three is difficult," I said, "and so is becoming an adult. She's chronologically three, and emotionally and physically a young woman. She'll grow out this phase most likely."

I couldn't help but think how paradoxical it was that Edward would never develop past his adolescence.

My son looked wistful. "It's interesting, you know. When she was small, it was like she was already grown up. I mean comparatively. I see other young children and their behavior is defined by impulses and outbursts. For instance, there was a little girl throwing a tantrum downtown today because her cup wasn't pink and '_puh_-ple' enough. Renesmee's got a temper, but she wouldn't waste a fit on something so trivial. Not when she was younger anyway. The maddest I ever saw her, I think, was when she saw those starving children on television. Social injustice was what triggered her moods.

"These days...she could blow up if you look at her the wrong way. I think we are experiencing Nessie's 'terrible twos' now. Except that it's technically her third year of life... God, it's going by so fast." Edward bit his thumbnail.

"Well, you're doing a good job," I commended, feeling his unease.

There was a loud thud from the second story.

"What on earth was that?" Esme asked, hand on her chest.

"Oh," Edward hedged, "I think that was Nessie's bed. I damaged the frame the other day. I fixed it temporarily, but I need to go back and replace it." It sounded to me like he was trying to cover up his embarrassment. I knew that he had broken the bed by smacking _it_, instead of Nessie. I chuckled.

"Well, please do," my wife said.

"I heard you got quite the surprise this morning." I smirked.

"I wasn't surprised," he objected. "It's true I can't hear Bella's thoughts, but I saw Alice's vision as soon as Bella decided to call for her. I let them catch me. They needed to feel better about it, and evidently saying sorry wasn't good enough." He raised his chin. "Besides, it didn't hurt."

"Oh, it didn't?" Esme challenged. "I can fix that."

"Actually, I think it hurt a lot," he revised. "But you don't have to tell any of the others that. It can be our secret."

"All right, young man. Just remember, it can happen again," she warned with a pointed finger.

Edward smiled, mischievous. "Mom, I'm going to be about my father's business, as well. With your permission, of course."

She crossed her arms. "Uh-huh. Tell me about that business, Edward."

"It's the business of driving Carlisle crazy."

"Oh, brilliant," I replied. "Crazy is my favorite mode of travel."

"I'm trying to keep pace with Renesmee. Keep it fair, you know. Tit for tat. She takes me for a ride, I take you for a ride... Because you're my dad."

_Blimey!_ He had perceived my amusement at his trouble despite my best efforts to hide it. I smiled apologetically.

"I know you don't want to miss out on a jaunt, Dad." He was teasing me by using my favored word for an outing—_jaunt_. He and Emmett always made fun of my speech, the impudent rascals.

"That's fine, dear," Esme cooed to Edward. "He needs you to keep him on edge. Things have gotten rather easy for him."

"Go ahead and take the keys to crazy, son. I'll ride shotgun."

He smiled crookedly at my affectionate tone. "Oh, good. Because I was thinking of buying a Porsche."

_You pay for a Porsche twice,_ I told him telepathically, _and that makes you the crazy one._

And if my willingness to take all this on made me crazy, then strap on the straitjacket under my seat belt. I was mad for this confounded family and always would be...no matter where we ended up.

I would never be lost, because _this_ craziness...it was the _ride_ of my life.

THE END


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